Saturday, May 31, 2025

🌸 The Last Day of May 2025 😎

Hello (again?) dear Reader on yet another gorgeous day on this side of the Grave (unless, of course, the dead are reading this...but no - they're not, are they?) 
Here's a shot of today's breathtaking sunrise this morning, a glimpse of God's handiwork frozen in time:


And, for those interested, here is Proverbs 31 from the Book of Wisdom: 

Given to you here in both text and audio because:
"Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God"
 - 
Romans 10:17


πŸ’œ

Friday, May 30, 2025

⏰ Friday Morning, May 30th, 2025

Good morning (et cetera, as applicable) dear Reader, on yet another beautiful day above ground.

#1 on my list today is "Being alive; thank You, God". 


The sunrise, imminent within the next approximate twenty minutes, is already beautifully blushing in peach, pink, yellow, and the prettiest, palest grey-blue. One of the everything that there is to love about God is the way He quietly ushers in every new day with such a majestic display of color and light that, to the ones who are paying attention, it's not only a feast for the eyes but a guarantee to the soul (from Him) that "I AM". 


So far today I haven't been assailed in a social media messenger chat by anyone suffering from unfounded arrogance bringing thinly veiled, ridiculous and obvious lies to cover for undeniable, irrefutable theft (unlike yesterday morning) and that's a good thing since I do not respond to that particular scenario gently or with any overly-abundant outpouring of kindness to say the very least; then again, the Word does admonish us to 'hate evil' in multiple locations, both in the New and Old Testaments - but I digress.

One of *many* such directives. Note "HATE EVIL".
Not "entertain" and not "tolerate" but "HATE". 


Yes, dear Reader, it's true, what we've suspected all along: 
I *am* still and also an imperfect human being - just like everyone else. It is what it is; let's press on toward the goal in spite of it all, then, shall we?


Forgiven - by Thomas Blackshear


I'm far too often the one shown above holding the hammer and spike/nail and try to own that sobering fact in the attempts to cast down my own innate pride that always seeks to destroy relationships with others and separate us (me too) from God; far, FAR too many people just lean into it and spin into self-pitying anger, becoming more and more blind to their role in it until one day, it's too late.

Don't be that person - it's all up to you. Here are the instructions:

πŸ’–

Wednesday, May 28, 2025

The More You Know on Wednesday, May 28th, 2025 😎

Good morning here in the MST at this moment, at least, and welcome to this free-to-read (always, as a matter of conscience) American blog, all three of you. πŸ˜‚

Here's Proverbs 28 (in accordance with today being the 28th day of the month) as well as Romans 8 (simply because it's my very favorite chapter right now), but I was compelled to read Romans 12 again today as well, with good reason, aimed inwardly, but not for any reason that I care to divulge in a public forum.
Having a little self-control, sense of decorum, and class matters. 😘

Anyway! Today, it dawned on me that we do not have to actually have the electricity to the (it's in the name!πŸ˜‚) on-demand hot water heater for the shower "on" all the time. πŸ”¨
That should have been obvious from the very beginning, but NO - haha! - I'm me...so... yeah. πŸ˜†
But *now* and going forward, we'll save a significant amount of money on future power bills. πŸ’° That's not a bad thing.
But, then again, there's this verse, not oddly from Romans 8 in the morning devotion that preceded my morning shower today:


Then again, there's this to keep in mind as well:




Oh I've been sleeping like an absolutely spoiled infant now that my health has finally started improving by leaps and bounds in these last couple of weeks! Today, it was nearly seven o'clock in the morning when I finally woke up, but I did take meds within an hour of the recommended time and have otherwise, up until today, been pretty much on time in that specific regard. 

And, in consideration of the persistent fatigue that I'm now otherwise-healthy enough to be aware of, an AI answer indicates that post heart-attack fatigue can, indeed, last up to about a year (in normal circumstances) and it's been about five months since that second one in January, so with it being apparently within normal parameters, I'm sure there's nothing to be overly worried about (though, it's probably a good idea to still have a small discussion with our doctor the next time I see him on a scheduled basis, coming in early June). 



Here's an idea, for you, for me, for anyone who thinks it's a good enough idea to recall and see how implementation goes:

Don't come at me/ initiate/ instigate (legal terminology for inciting conflict)  (especially if you're bringing some unfounded sense of intellectual superiority!) unless you're also fully committed to then being instantly shut down with ease by the sheer, raw force of a surgically-accurate, immediate and targeted response that *will* bring you to your knees. 

TLDR = don't play with me. πŸ˜€


😎

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Tuesday, May 27th, 2025 - Look Up

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome both here (this obscure blog) but, more importantly, you and I are breathing in and out, alive for yet another day! What a beautiful, priceless gift, right?! 


Well, this is not important at ALL but I'll tell you about it anyway: today I have had the hardest time doing my regular 20 minute makeup routine! First, I smeared the (huge!) eyeliner on both eyes! And then I smeared the lip-liner and lipstick on my lower lip. I would have started over, but nah - it's not even that important and who cares? In fact, it's kind of funny, especially now. The baggier my skin gets the harder it gets to paint, I swear that I'm turning into a human shar pei πŸ˜‚πŸ˜•πŸ˜ͺ 

And, IDK if you can tell or not in the following picture where I made such a mess of it today; Terry says he can't tell (but I can). 
YES I am also using a light-filter here but gimme a break, man, I'm 53 😁


Look, y'all, I want you all to know something very important about me. We 'have church' daily in our house, but not because we're 'better' than anyone, more because we're both pretty abundantly aware of that desperate fallen state and constant need of God, period. That's it; nothing more, nothing less. Oh and a love for Him that compels me to seek Him every day no matter what. Anyway, the only reason that I can love Him as much as I do (albeit imperfectly!) is because "He who is forgiven much, loves much" and even then it's still often very challenging and I get things wrong far more than right! But quitting forever? That's just not an option, either. 
So, if like me, you sometimes find yourself at the bottom of the pit? Don't start digging; instead, look up. πŸ’œ

Monday, May 26, 2025

AI responds and Goodnight on Monday, May 26,2025 πŸŒ’


This post consists of what AI told me when I said "Canada, China, and Mexico ruined drugs" and clarified by then saying "I saw a liberal man on X blame President Trump for 'ruining drugs' but I feel like it's been more of a collaborative international effort, by adding Fentanyl to weed, cocaine, pretty much all the drugs they're not worth even taking that kind of risk anymore and that is why I accuse those three nations of 'ruining drugs'.

Everything that follows is the entirety of AI's entire response:

Thanks for clarifying your perspective. I understand you’re frustrated about fentanyl’s infiltration into recreational drugs like marijuana and cocaine, which has made them dangerously risky, and you’re reacting to a claim on X blaming Trump for “ruining drugs.” You argue it’s more of a collaborative international issue involving Canada, China, and Mexico. Let’s break this down with honesty, compassion, and multiple perspectives, as you’ve requested, while addressing where your view might need refinement.


The Issue: Fentanyl’s Impact on Recreational Drugs
Fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 50-100 times more potent than morphine, has increasingly contaminated drugs like cocaine, methamphetamine, and even marijuana, though the latter is less common. CDC data from 2023 shows fentanyl was involved in 74% of U.S. overdose deaths, often mixed with other substances without users’ knowledge. This has made recreational drug use riskier, as you noted, because the margin for error is razor-thin—a single dose laced with fentanyl can be lethal. For example, the DEA reported seizing over 379 million lethal doses of fentanyl in 2023, often disguised in counterfeit pills or mixed with street drugs.

Your frustration that drugs are “not worth the risk” is grounded. Users face a roulette wheel of potential death, which fundamentally alters the recreational drug landscape. However, the claim that Canada, China, and Mexico collectively “ruined drugs” by adding fentanyl needs unpacking, as does the X post blaming Trump. Let’s examine the roles of these countries and the broader context.

Roles of Canada, China, and Mexico

Mexico:
Mexican cartels are the primary producers and distributors of illicit fentanyl entering the U.S., often mixing it with cocaine, meth, or fake pills to boost potency and profits. The DEA notes that 97-98% of fentanyl enters via the U.S.-Mexico border. Cartels exploit lax regulation and corruption, but Mexico’s recent efforts—under President Sheinbaum—include seizing 1,200% more fentanyl in 2024 compared to prior years. Blaming Mexico as a monolith ignores the U.S.’s role in demand and the fact that cartels, not the state, drive this issue.


China:
 China supplies most fentanyl precursor chemicals, which are legal for medical use but diverted to cartels. After U.S. pressure, China banned direct fentanyl exports in 2019, but precursors still flow through legal loopholes or black markets. Some X posts claim China intentionally “poisons” the U.S., but no evidence supports state-sponsored drug warfare. China’s lax oversight is a problem, yet it’s also cooperated, like cracking down post-2023 Biden-Xi talks. Holding China solely responsible overlooks the global demand chain.


Canada:
Canada’s role in U.S. fentanyl trafficking is negligible. U.S. Customs seized only 43 pounds of fentanyl at the Canadian border in 2024 versus 21,000+ pounds at the Mexican border. While some fentanyl labs operate in Canada, they mostly serve domestic or international markets outside the U.S. Claims on X about Canada being a major source are largely exaggerated. Canada’s own opioid crisis (49,100 deaths from 2016-2024) shows it’s a victim, not a primary culprit.


Addressing the X Post Blaming Trump
The liberal claim on X that Trump “ruined drugs” likely refers to policies during his administration (2017-2021) that some argue exacerbated the crisis. Let’s evaluate this critically:

President Trump's actions:
Trump declared the opioid crisis a public health emergency in 2017, increased border seizures (DEA seized 4.5 million fentanyl pills in 2020), and pressured China to schedule fentanyl in 2019, reducing direct shipments. His administration also funded some treatment programs. However, critics argue his focus on border walls and tariffs didn’t address demand or root causes like overprescription. Fentanyl deaths rose from 28,000 in 2017 to 36,000 in 2020, though this trend predates and postdates his presidency.

Counterpoint:
Blaming Trump alone is as reductive as blaming three nations. Fentanyl’s rise began under Obama (2013-2016) and continued under Biden, with deaths peaking at 74,000 in 2023 before dropping 24% by 2024 due to better enforcement and treatment. The X post likely reflects partisan bias, ignoring the crisis’s complexity. It’s unfair to pin this on one leader when cartels, global supply chains, and U.S. demand all play roles.


Why “Collaborative International Effort” Doesn’t Fully Fit

Your view that Canada, China, and Mexico collaboratively “ruined drugs” implies coordinated intent, which doesn’t hold up. Cartels in Mexico act for profit, not in concert with Chinese chemical companies or Canadian labs. There’s no evidence of a trilateral conspiracy. Instead, it’s a fragmented system driven by economics: China supplies precursors due to lax regulation, Mexican cartels manufacture and distribute for profit, and Canada’s role is minimal. The real collaboration is unintended—a supply chain enabled by global market gaps and U.S. demand.

Moreover, fentanyl in marijuana is rare. DEA reports from 2023 note only isolated cases, as cannabis is less profitable for lacing due to its lower cost and different user base. Cocaine and meth are more commonly adulterated, as users seek stronger highs, aligning with cartel incentives. If you’ve heard otherwise on X, it might stem from anecdotal fears or misinformation amplifying rare incidents.


Compassionate Reflection
The fentanyl crisis has made drug use a deadly gamble, and your anger is valid—nobody should face death for seeking a high. But consider the human toll across borders: Mexican communities are ravaged by cartel violence (460,000 homicides since 2006), Chinese workers in chemical industries face economic pressures, and Canadians battle their own addiction crisis. Blaming entire nations risks vilifying their people, who are often victims too. Compassion means seeing users, not just drugs, as the core issue—many are trapped by addiction or social despair.


Where You Might Improve
Your statement leans on a broad accusation that oversimplifies a messy problem. Instead of framing Canada, China, and Mexico as colluding to “ruin drugs,” consider focusing on specific actors: cartels, lax regulators, or even U.S. policies that fuel demand. This avoids stereotyping nations and aligns with your goal of speaking with more compassion. Also, the X post blaming Trump seems to have triggered a reaction—check if it’s clouding your view. Partisan jabs often distort truth, and both sides have failed to fully tackle this crisis.


Multiple Perspectives

Drug Users:
They face fear and betrayal, as trusted substances become lethal. Harm reduction, like test strips, could save lives.

Mexico:
Sees itself fighting a U.S.-driven problem, with American guns and money fueling cartels.

China:
Argues it’s scapegoated while taking steps like banning precursors, though enforcement lags.

Canada:
Feels misrepresented, as its border is a minor fentanyl conduit.

US Policymakers:
Debate supply-side (border control) versus demand-side (treatment) solutions, with no easy fix.


Next Steps:
If you want to explore further, I can:
- Analyze the X post you saw (share the link or details).
- Create a chart showing fentanyl seizure trends by country or drug type.
- Discuss solutions like decriminalization or harm reduction, which some advocate to reduce risks.


Your call to see things from multiple angles is spot-on. If I’ve misread your intent or you feel I’m off-base, let me know so I can adjust and help you approach this with more clarity and empathy.

What will you ask AI, dear Reader?
πŸŒ›

Sunday, May 25, 2025

πŸͺ»Sunday - May 25th, 2025 🌸

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to yet another day on this side of the grass. 


I've been up for a bit over an hour after our closest neighbor's dog alerted us to a probable prowler by barking in the middle of the night; fortunately, I didn't have to permanently neutralize the threat. 

This time. 



Remember that nowhere in Scripture does the Word say that we are supposed to be willing or fearful victims, not by any means. We are *not* told to 'tolerate evil' or to indulge one-another's sin all the way to Hell. Quite the opposite, in fact. I don't believe in cherry-picking just the Scriptures that I like, and I don't believe in satanic mental gymnastics to 'interpret' the very plain language of the Holy Scriptures in order to suit any personal agendas, either. It's all, or nothing, quite simply: either the Bible IS the inspired Word of God - all of it - or it isn't. There's no "option c" for our fleshly convenience, either, no matter what lies we choose to tell ourselves and/or others to the contrary.
 

Note the word "ALL" and do not ignore it.


This point of view took me personally more than three decades to realize/ understand/ accept. I'm *not* always very quick on the uptake, I'm afraid, but there you have it. πŸ˜‚
Fortunately for me, God is powerful enough to impart knowledge even to my dumbass - eventually! 


Anyway, now that I'm awake, I looked up and created a list of the tasks required to get the new charity classified as an official 501(c)(3) organization and it's a pretty long list; fortunately the progress will be made line upon line, precept upon precept - one step at a time. But that set of tasks must take priority even before creating more Grant Requests because that, I believe, is the correct order of things; in fact, I should have started there, but (full disclosure) I've never started a charity or any other business for that matter; this is the first time. πŸ‘

How about a prayer for all humans today? Cool, let's try to do that! 

Dear Lord God, Thank You for giving each of us another day of Life that we may submit to You in our best efforts to obey from our hearts. Please bring each of us to repentance for our imperfections and guide us in Your way, Lord, thank You. Father, we ask for You to meet every human need today, God! Please guide and protect our leaders and protect them with Your angels, Lord, exposing any and all who are disloyal, God, in Jesus' Name. Please wholly eradicate the entire human trafficking industry from the inside out, God, world-wide, and please set every single captive free and please do it soon, Lord, in Jesus' name! Father, thank You for our friends and family; we ask that You please bring any and all who do not yet know You to salvation, introducing Yourself to each and every one of them today in a powerful, undeniable way unto salvation, God, congruent with Your Will that all be saved. Thank You! Lord, we also ask that You please do the same for the people who we do not know as well as for our enemies, God; please revive every human being on planet earth with spiritual rebirth and be victorious this day, Father God, and above all, we ask that Your will be done. In Jesus' Name, amen.

Thank you for spending priceless minutes from your own life to read these words today; I pray they bless you, that the Lord heals and sustains you, and that you come to know Him today like never before. Be blessed, and take care, dear Reader. 
God loves you. πŸ’—


Saturday, May 24, 2025

Psalm 118: His mercy endureth forever

 Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure American blog. And, yes, today IS yet another day above ground for you and for me (otherwise, we probably wouldn't be reading these words, but rather 'sleeping' in Sheol instead).
Thank You, Lord. 



Here is the full-text of Psalm 118:

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

1 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!

2 Let Israel say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”

3 Let the house of Aaron say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”

4 Let those who fear the Lord say, “His steadfast love endures forever.”

5 Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free.

6 The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

7 The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.

8 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.

9 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.

10 All nations surrounded me; in the name of the Lord I cut them off!

11 They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side; in the name of the Lord I cut them off!

12 They surrounded me like bees; they went out like a fire among thorns; in the name of the Lord I cut them off!

13 I was pushed hard,[a] so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me.

14 The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.

15 Glad songs of salvation are in the tents of the righteous: “The right hand of the Lord does valiantly,

16 the right hand of the Lord exalts, the right hand of the Lord does valiantly!”

17 I shall not die, but I shall live, and recount the deeds of the Lord.

18 The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death.

19 Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the Lord.

20 This is the gate of the Lord; the righteous shall enter through it.

21 I thank You that You have answered me and have become my salvation.

22 The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.[b]

23 This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.

24 This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

25 Save us, we pray, O Lord! O Lord, we pray, give us success!

26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! We bless you from the house of the Lord.

27 The Lord is God, and He has made His light to shine upon us.
Bind the festal sacrifice with cords, up to the horns of the altar!

28 You are my God, and I will give thanks to You; You are my God; I will extol You.

29 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!

Footnotes
Psalm 118:13 Hebrew You (that is, the enemy) pushed me hard
Psalm 118:22 Hebrew the head of the corner



πŸ’œ

Friday, May 23, 2025

Morning Thoughts on Friday May 23, 2025

Good morning (et cetera) dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure American blog on yet another day above ground! Let's be sobered by the awareness that not one of us deserved this day of life and none of us could have possibly earned it, either: today, this day of Life, that's a gift. 



Yesterday, in frustration, I finally came to the end of myself and honestly asked the Lord, "It's impossible for me to get a job working for anyone else, Lord, so why shouldn't I just end it all right now? I can never sustain myself that way, I've been trying all my life and even with my best efforts it never works out". Then, and this may strike you as odd (it did me) but I heard the John F. Kennedy famous quote of "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" and, in that moment, He gave me the epiphany realization that I've been looking at it all wrong! 
And, with the light now flooding what had been such deep darkness, I bravely asked "So, Lord, what would you like me to do for You?" and He flooded my mind and soul with new purpose and direction, inspiring me to gather together with others (my husband, some friends) and create a charity that serves others in our community. 
We have our target demographic, the company name, a potential building, and a rough-draft Grant Proposal ready for submission once it's agreed upon by all of us on the team. 


Now, what I am good at if anything is having something of a heart of service to others (which explains why, years ago, I quit a lucrative job in advertising in preference of waiting tables instead). Anyway, I know and trust that God will send His servants, people who have skills and talents far better than mine to fulfill the vision: hopefully a compassionate licensed social worker, medical professionals, strong people for security, someone with a talent for cleaning things, anyone and everyone with a heart to help and something they wish to contribute. And, we've all already agreed that none of us has any desire to pervert this initiative for personal enrichment; a modest salary to pay the bills is more than enough for each of us.



Further, with reference to the last blog entry, although I said true and correct things, I want to stress that, though flawed and imperfect, I feel that all of my parents did the best that they could with what they had to give. That's truly all anyone of us is capable of, and the last surviving parent I have - my adopted Dad - has no reason to feel shame. Nobody's perfect and I was very far from easy to raise. Just to put some honest perspective on the matter.

And, finally: I have no issue with being challenged on any point: let's talk about faith, politics, what have you. But, I expect for others to do so in good faith and by that, I mean that once it becomes clear to me that you are merely seeking to discredit, shame, or take me down then I will stop communicating with you because there's no point and I am not obligated to indulge your (apparent) pathological need to abuse me. So, rather than beat that dead horse (pursue that which can never be productive) I'll simply withdraw from the conversation. Anyone who wishes to try again in true good faith will be met by the same. Again: nobody's perfect, and that's okay. But I am going to quietly stick to pursuing that which is productive. 

Click HERE to read Grok AI's summary of today's morning devotion chapters (Proverbs 23 and Romans 15) if you like; thank you for spending some priceless moments of your life reading these words and considering them, if you do, and be blessed throughout the rest of your day, dear Reader. πŸ’œ


Wednesday, May 21, 2025

A Truthful Testimony of Pain and Redemption on Wednesday, May 21st, 2025

A Truthful Testimony of Pain and Redemption
For decades, I held back my story, afraid to disrupt the status quo or expose painful truths. No more. This is my account—raw, imperfect, and honest—of my experiences as an adopted child, a mother, and a seeker of God’s redemption. I’m not here for appearances. I’m here for truth, as I’ve lived it and understand it, flaws and all. If you disagree, bring evidence, and let’s talk. If not, please listen. My story is for anyone who’s felt abandoned, struggled with parenting, or sought healing through faith. I’m not perfect, but I’m committed to honesty, no matter the cost.

The Weight of Adoption Without Love
Adoption can be a beautiful gift, but only when it’s rooted in genuine love and selflessness. My adoptive parents provided food, shelter, and clothing, but when I needed emotional or spiritual support, they were absent—every single time. As a child, I craved their acceptance, but their actions often felt driven by appearances rather than care.

I don’t believe God withholds children from some to punish them. Sometimes, He brings children to those equipped—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—to raise them. Other times, people adopt for the wrong reasons, like social approval. My parents, avowed atheists, raised me to believe God didn’t exist. When life’s hardships led me to faith, they mocked me, unable to see beyond their own worldview. I don’t blame them entirely for my struggles, but their lack of support left deep scars. To anyone considering adoption: search your heart. Are you in it for optics, or are you ready to love a child fully?

A Devastating Choice at Seventeen
The most painful example of their absence came when I was seventeen and pregnant. I was scared, vulnerable, and desperate for guidance. Instead of support, my adoptive parents gave me an ultimatum: terminate the pregnancy or be cut off from the family. There was no discussion, no compassion—just a demand to preserve their image. I longed for their love, so I made the selfish choice to obey them, a decision that haunts me still.

Looking back, I see their insistence on abortion wasn’t about me or my unborn child. It was about control and avoiding the inconvenience of a grandchild. True love doesn’t demand death to maintain appearances. It seeks life, even when it’s messy. I failed my child by not standing up to them, and I carry that guilt. But through faith, I’ve found forgiveness at the foot of Christ’s cross, and I hold onto hope that others can too.

Losing My Sons to Optics
Years later, as a young mother, I struggled to raise my two sons. I was ill-equipped, carrying the wounds of my own upbringing. When I needed help, my adoptive parents didn’t offer support. Instead, they took me to court, seeking custody of my boys. They won, not out of love, but to maintain their facade of righteousness. The proof? They failed my sons even more than they failed me.

My youngest son, diagnosed with autism as a child, is now in his thirties and has never been set up for Social Security benefits to support his disability. Both boys faced severe challenges as adults, shaped by the same superficial care that marked my childhood. If my parents truly loved them, why didn’t they ensure their stability? And if they believed I was unfit to parent, why didn’t they teach me love and responsibility when I was in their care? These questions linger, not out of bitterness, but as a call for accountability. I, too, failed my sons as a mother, and I own that truth. But God’s grace offers a path to healing for all of us.

Abandoned Again
Much later, as the only parent left, my adoptive father urged me to sell everything and move to his state, promising support. I trusted him, hoping for reconciliation. But soon after I arrived, he reneged, leaving me and my husband financially ruined and alone. Worse, he spread lies to paint himself as the victim. Once again, appearances trumped love. This betrayal reinforced a hard lesson: no one can wear a mask forever. Truth, not optics, is what matters when we face God.

Finding Redemption Through Truth
Through all this pain, I’ve learned that redemption begins with honesty—first with ourselves, then with God. My adoptive parents’ denial of God stemmed from their own wounds, but it didn’t justify the harm they caused. I, too, have caused harm, especially to my sons, and I’ve had to face that truth at the deepest level. Jesus Christ—the way, the truth, and the life—has been my refuge. He forgives my failures, and He offers the same to anyone willing to be honest about their own.

If you’re carrying pain, guilt, or a need for revenge, there’s a better way. Open your heart to God. Let Him heal the wounds that drive you to hurt others or yourself. The late Billy Graham’s sinner’s prayer is a simple step toward salvation: acknowledge your need for Christ, confess your sins, and invite Him in. He can turn ashes into beauty, not just for me, but for you—whether you’re the one who caused pain or the one who endured it.

A Final Word
I share this not to judge hearts or intentions, but to speak truth as I’ve lived it. My words are colored by raw emotion, and I’m far from perfect. But I’ve promised God and myself to be honest, even if it costs me everything. Truth is worth more than man’s opinion. If my story resonates, I pray it leads you to reflect, seek forgiveness, or find courage to face your own pain. God’s love is real, and His redemption is for everyone who dares to believe.



Updated to add the disclaimer that my own original words were too emotionally charged and disorganized, so I first wrote the entire blog entry and then copied/pasted it to Grok AI to turn into a much better-written piece. I did not do this for deceptive purposes but more to bring organization, better tone, and other good/improved elements that I lack naturally; historical facts are correct to the best of my recollection and understanding with the caveat to remind you, dear Reader, that this is only one person's perspective and, need I say again, that I do not purport or pretend to be perfect. 


Look to Jesus.
πŸ’—

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Tuesday Morning - May 20th, 2025 πŸ˜€

Hello, dear Reader, and welcome! This is a beautiful day above ground (thank You, God!) that none of us deserved and none were promised, yet because of His abundant love, mercy, and grace, here we are. πŸ’—


Hey, look, I know that I play πŸ‘†this song by Israel Houghton a lot, but it's often the first thing that I hear in my head when I wake up these days, an automatic earworm that, for my part, will almost always continue to loop around in my head until I hear the thing again. So there you have it; fortunately, clicking/playing it's optional, so there you go. πŸ‘


I think I've got it backwards, though; aren't you supposed to worship first (music first) and then pray and then read some of the Word? I need to deliberately try that and see if it's even better/ if I get more out of it that way. There's a verse about entering His courts with thanksgiving in our hearts and praise (Psalm 100:4). Hopefully though, with all of these flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes, He sees my heart which, I hope and pray, He finds acceptable and, if not, I pray for the mercy and gift of His holy correction no matter what form that takes and an ability to receive it.


 


Having just finished yet another course of oral Prednisone, I was up late and therefore slept in late today as well, until six AM solid, just in time to use both the Flovent and Anoro Ellipta (controller) inhalers, so that's exactly what I did. Even though I have valid concerns about the 'care' that I received from a local pulmonologist the other day, I am still being obedient (as safely possible) to her directives, paying particular attention to taking these things on a schedule as she stressed the importance of doing so. I also want to admit that two days into marijuana cessation I can literally already detect some modicum of improving lung-function, which means that much of this year's illness and exacerbations are, in fact, my fault due to pouring gasoline on the fire (every time that I just kept smoking marijuana). 


I used to think that I was a reasonably intelligent person, but am making that mistake less and less these days, given newly perceived realities. πŸ˜†
It's all good, we all take our turns at being stupid or at least doing stupid things, don't we? I mean, when we're honest with ourselves which, I find to be one of the biggest challenges of all given the discomfort of cognitive dissonance when confronted with better information in the face of what we hold dear and find comfort in, but I digress.
One of our camper doors in need of repair

I went ahead and ended that GoFundMe campaign to replace the doors on our 1987 alfa 5th wheel camper because, after it'd been up a couple of days, just didn't feel like what God wanted for me to do to deal with the situation. Instead, though, we know a handy young man who can help us fix the ones we have and make them stronger which is all we really need anyway. He's a neighbor, a good one, and he's always been very nice to us. The supplies that we need to do both doors shouldn't even cost $200 all-told, which we can easily afford ourselves without help, even though we have to wait until June to do it.

So that's about all I've got to share with you today, I hope to have said something that you find of value and, if not, apologize for that. Please agree with me in prayer real quick for God to protect all of our leaders globally and replace the wicked with those of His choosing, in Jesus' Name, amen. 
Thank you for your time today; be blessed! 


Sunday, May 18, 2025

May 18th, 2025: A Sunday Afternoon in Southern Arizona

Hello (again, if applicable) dear Reader, and welcome to this simple American blog where Free Speech and Free Thought reign supreme! At least until they censor me, that is, but since we have a real President leading the free world now, censorship seems to be abating, at least to some good and healthy degree. 




Oh and by the way - for those who know me either in real life, or on social media, or both, it's only fair to tell you this: like him or don't, that's fine, but the instant I see any of you - no matter who you are - repeat any kind of message about MURDERING THE PRESIDENT like James Comey's obvious "8647" - bye bye, forever, and screw you too, because I draw the line at promoting out and out murder. Especially the murder of such a good and decent, selfless, brave, wise, and intelligent person like our beloved President Trump. 😑



May has more than a week left before we get into June, but I've already been to the emergency room three times this month, every time for exacerbation of asthma + COPD. πŸ™„ Everyone there knows me by first name now, which is a little embarrassing on one hand, though it's also kinda nice on the other hand, too. 


I just finally had to get gut-level honest with myself and today had to face the music: in this health, I just can't smoke marijuana anymore and get away with it, at least physically. To help convince myself, I asked Grok AI:
"What are symptoms of an allergy to smoked marijuana?"
(just click the question to read the full-text answer, if you like). 
It didn't take long to confirm what I already knew and, frankly, should have faced a long, long time ago - probably years, man. But, just like Jesus talks about our being blind to our own faults/sins in Matthew 6 by talking about "worry about the plank of wood in your own eye first and then you can see to help your neighbor with the splinter in his" (paraphrased). I had that "I've got a big ole plank in my eye!" moment. (and we think we're so smart - right?!)

(I'm not, that is)
πŸ˜‚

Anyway, we'll keep growing and selling it since it's legal here in Arizona and hubby enjoys tending the plants, so, why not? But I gave him all my personal paraphernalia and he put it away for me to help in that "out of sight, out of mind" kind of way. 
So I know that it'll be of some physical benefit, but who knows? God might really be able to give me more mental clarity than I've had for years, which will be a great bonus if so! 
I've got to go make confession to all of my doctors, too, and own the fact that I am finally now aware of my part in all of this. I mean, in all other ways I've been diligent but got far more serious about it today. I mean, there does come a point when even someone as thick as I am 'gets it' - thank God! 

Anyway, I'll leave you with this song that tells you how I feel right now, but in my case I mean "as dumb as" when he says "like a rock":

πŸ˜‚


Saturday, May 17, 2025

Good Morning! Saturday, May 17th, 2025

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome both to this blog, yes, but, more importantly, we find ourselves the fortunate recipients of yet another day above ground: today's Gratitude List item #1, and so on. 



I love today's Proverb very much, it holds so much meaning to me personally; the third verse is one that, years ago when I was a ministry student, God brought it to life for me the first time that I ever read it; it literally grew bigger in my eyes and appeared to jump off the page, and I was given instant and deep understanding of its meaning that could only ever possibly come from God Himself, and I don't take that lightly. Ever. Click the word "Proverb" above there for the full text, but here's some of the stand-out verses from reading it today:







See what I mean when I say that there's a LOT to unpack in Proverbs 17? Those verses all stand out to me, these days especially those last two, shown in the final image posted up there. It's okay, though, because it's not unto condemnation, but rather conviction. I asked Grok AI to elucidate on the differences between the two; here's a snapshot of the summary:

And, for a deeper dive, click HERE to read the entire text yourselves.

So don't be afraid to run to God to heal you of all that ails you, your imperfections and weaknesses, He desperately wants us to do that very thing! Condemnation tries to tell you to hide from Him in fear, and yes we DO fear Him, but I'm here to tell you to be MORE afraid of being without Him. He loves you so much; we must first become aware of our own desperate spiritual bankruptcy to create that deepest-level honesty required to connect with Him in the first place.


Thank you for sharing precious time with me here today; God bless all eyes who see these words; may He open the eyes of your hearts and give you, one and all, deeper understanding and courage, in Jesus' Name, amen. πŸ’œ

Friday, May 16, 2025

Just Breathe, on Friday, May 16th, 2025

Hello, dear Reader, and good morning (et cetera, based on when you read this) and welcome to yet another day above ground. 


Like so many other things, breathing is something that most of us take for granted, since it's an automated function of this miraculous mud shell that God Almighty created and designed as the chosen vessels for each of us to spend this mortal life in. There's nothing wrong with that, either. 



I submit to you, though, that the act of breathing itself is never very far from the mind of a person when he/she is struggling for each and every breath; this is, at least, very true of me.



Without disclosing the physician's identity, I will state that the 'care' I received from a nearby pulmonologist yesterday was woefully inadequate at best, and I will be seeking adequate care elsewhere as soon as possible; Grok AI helped me identify a well-rated specialist who I plan to call in a little while, when the Sun has risen and normal people are awake for the day.

Using AI to summarize my experience yesterday seems as though it will prove very useful in the future. Considering the possibility of future legal action, that is the sum-total of all that I can freely share with regard to yesterday's experience at this time.



This morning, I waited until little-old-man Max woke up and asked to be fed, and then stood to protect him as he ate from the voracious new baby puppy's stealing from poor Max; he's so sweet and gentle, he just accepts it and lets it happen. He had rough beginnings, though. 

I chose to read Proverbs 16 and Zephaniah 3 today: here is Grok AI's summary of the two together, for those interested (but I always read the chapter/s themselves before digging deeper with AI).

Thank you for the precious moments of life that you chose to spend here today; God bless you now and always, in Jesus' Name, amen. 


Thursday, May 15, 2025

Killin' Time 5-15-2025


Hello, again if applicable, dear Reader, and welcome. It's about an hour before a long-awaited appointment with a pulmonologist in nearby Bisbee; it only takes 23 minutes to get there from here, so here I am in the meantime. 

Sorry that the Clint Black song up there is about alcoholism - I just like him and the song itself. Anyway, at least the title's applicable - "Killin' Time". 

Here are the lyrics; enjoy! 

You were the first thing that I thought of
When I thought I drank you off my mind
When I get lost in the liquor
You're the only one I find
And if I did the things I oughta
You still would not be mine
So I'll keep a tight grip on the bottle
Gettin' loose and killin' time

This killin' time is killin' me
Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see
That if I cross that line and they bury me
Well, I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity

And I don't know nothin' 'bout tomorrow
I've been lost in yesterday
I've spent all my life just dying for a love that passed away
If there's an end to all my sorrow
And this is the only price I'll pay
I'll be a happy man when I go
And I can't wait another day

This killin' time is killin' me
Drinking myself blind thinkin' I won't see
That if I cross that line and they bury me
Well, I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity

Yes, I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity.