Happy Birthday, My Son! April 12th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome! I woke up at 2 o'clock this morning and just decided to go ahead and stay up. 
I'm diving into the day's Proverb, here you go, if you need a compass for the morning. 

May my oldest son be blessed, today on his birthday, and always, as well as my youngest son. My only prayer is for them both to know Christ and Him crucified. Out of respect for my oldest who ask that I not openly talk about him here, that is all that I feel that I have the freedom to say. 💚

It's still about two hours before the Sun rises here; I hope that it's not cloudy at that time today! I can't wait for the two or three minute silent show of splendor that God bathes the world in during those Dawn moments, every day! When the creatures of the world wake up, all of them praise God in a chorus of barks and birdsong; it's glorious. I marvel at it now, wondering how I ever slept through such a miracle for so many years! Then again, like I said the other day, I am the exact and very same kind of person who'd hold an AA meeting inside of a bar, so, there's that.

Anyway, my therapist (he's amazing!) has been, in part, teaching me about the importance of mindfulness. Focused, counted breathing for one (which I do in the shower, when I remember to!) But, rather than that becoming a moment for self-focus, I realize this:

God Himself IS the breath of life! To be still and know that He is God shifts the focus from 'self' to Him! And this goes hand in hand with John 3:30 where John the Baptist declares "I must decrease that He may increase". I can see all of these things: my evil broken past, His redeeming power, His Word and His Will, all finally being woven together in my own life like a tapestry that exists solely for His will alone. 

Friend, if, like me, you have a shameful and evil past, take heart! There IS a Redeemer! He is mighty to save and there is no such thing as a human soul that He cannot reach, and further, redeem! 

The more sin and evil you've had in your past, in fact, the brighter His light may shine out from you, in stark contrast to what the world has to offer, that His Truth rise above all, that His salvation IS at hand, for all who will receive it.❤

P.S. I cheated and posted one last thing to my online account as something of a swan song; I'll tell my husband about it when he wakes up. the post includes the following short that lists the 8 products I use now for my daily go-to minimal makeup routine:

8 product face - 54 years old

Edited at 7:09 AM MST:
My husband awoke, so I told him of my 'swan song' final Fragrantica post and he's okay with it so YAY! I felt in my heart that it'd be okay, but it does have to be the single, final 'good-bye'. 👊

About "Doing the Thing" on April 11th, 2012

Good morning, world! Greetings and salutations and welcome (back?) to this hidden little section of cyberspace. My husband and I woke up within minutes of one another today and have been chatting over coffee for a good while so far; I've got my hair up in a ponytail due to the high winds anticipated today and left the door to the laundry room open so I can hear the dryer tumble.

Here is a link to today's Proverb (NIV translation again today).

On Monday, I'm making a cold-call to who I hope will become a trusted colleague and ally, a man who's been running his own homeless shelter since the mid 90's, not ironically the time that I spent in the ministry, being prepared for what is now finally at hand. Everything in my life has lead up to this point: my own periods of homelessness, which nothing could replace that first-hand experience that remains perpetually immeasurable in value. And, naysayers be damned, several AI programs are helping me really get this initiative nailed down, in step by logical step fashion. It's awesome, and, of course, now I know by way of a very bad experience that vetting the information provided by AI is required in order to ferret out that of value and shirk the rest. I am, at least, the kind of person who tries to learn from experience.

Now, about "the thing" I did which I alluded to in a previous post, now I'll go ahead and tell you: when Fragrantica's owner is home from his current travels, he will, himself, be deleting my nearly-fifteen year old account there. The staff that I've told there have all said they're sad to see me go, and frankly so am I, but I have to empty my hands of this in order to pick up that which has been divinely placed before me. Volunteering isn't something that I'll be doing part time, but is and will even moreso become the very substance of every day life, every moment, of every.single.day.

Here's a screenshot of the message that I sent detailing my request; I'll save the warm responses for my own personal reference.

100% of every single reason for my decision is lain out in that message, posted there above this line and there is nothing more or less to it than that. Retrospectively, of course, I can see where in several places I was harpooned by using the mousepad on this laptop; some of the relevant text was selected and deleted without my seeing it because I typed right on through it happening and didn't see that it did until after the fact. No matter, the gist of the content made it through, and that's what matters.

Now, since I have several days remaining before he's able to delete the account, I asked my spousal authority (my husband) if he thinks it'd be okay for me to just proceed as normal for these days; his advice is 'no, commit to it and do it now' so, starting today, that is what I'm doing, though I did log on to select my scent of the day today... and that's all. 

Here's my YouTube short about "doing it afraid" which I'm surprised to see has over 700 views (which, in the podcast world is nothing but, to my little regular-self, is significant). 

Do It Afraid!

I have to post it there as an embedded link... because I still haven't submitted a support request to blogger.com 😂

So! It's back to grant-writing I go, both for my 501(c)(3) - thank God that I've already got our EIN! - as well as a couple of other local charities.

It's far beyond time that I left the echo-chamber of self-aggrandizement for the true treasure of a life lived in service to the least of these (per Jesus' words in Matthew 25). 

The instant I made the decision, the Lord gave me this Scripture to back it up and confirm that yes, this is the right thing to do and yes, now IS the time:

There's nothing wrong with part-time volunteer work, and I encourage everyone to weave that into their lives when and wherever possible. But, in my case, He is demanding that it become my entire, waking, breathing life. So, it's truly no wonder that it's taken more than fifty years to prepare me for this holy assignment! 

And, know this: I intend to be boots on the ground, interfacing with the clients - washing their feet myself, rather than delegating the sacred tasks of service. I never want to become one of those "charity" CEO's raking in millions, sequestered away from those they claim to serve in expensive, fancy offices. No, I want to unlock the closet so the residents can shop, I want to let them pick out toiletries, I want to cook and then hand them food, I want to make their beds, wash their clothing, pray for them, and sometimes even literally wash their feet. 
What a deep and profound honor it will be and, folks? 
I can't wait! 

❤

A Beautiful Day in April, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure little blip in the virtual ocean! I first woke up at about three a.m. this morning as usual, but was able to go back to sleep for more than another three hours; when I woke up, it was near sunrise, but it's cloudy today, at least it is so far this morning, so I didn't miss anything (meaning, those three approximate minutes when Heaven leaks down to earth and bathes the world and sky in colors and light so beautiful as to take one's breath away). 

Addiction, it's a real thing; at least, for many of us it is. And we (that is, humans/ people) are the kind of folk who'll hold AA meetings inside of a bar. I don't say that to be mean, just "look at us"(all!) right? Friend, I'm in that boat, too. There are plenty of realities that I'm blind too, mistake, or just plain ignore; I, too, am human. Please know that when I start to sound real preachy (as I write, here) it's only because I am preaching these things first and foremost to myself, and, if anyone else finds value in anything shared, that's wonderful! If not, well, maybe at least you can get a good laugh. It's important that you know, though, dear Reader, where my heart is in all of this.

My oldest son, estranged with good reason because I was an awful, terrible mother (just keeping it real, you can ask both of the boys, and they'll tell you) anyway, he's managed to make it so far in life, in spite of me and the other imperfect conditions of his childhood. His birthday is in two days and, though I don't deserve a relationship with him, love him today and will with every remaining breath. In fact, I've tried to make a deal with God, and asked Him to please see to it that both of my sons get to know Him and Him crucified, even if that means that I never see or hear from either one of them again. That's because God is everything, and if I get to choose between having them in my own life and them having God in theirs, well, the choice is crystal clear and there IS no room for debate. So, may he have a wonderful birthday coming up in a couple of days; may he be doing well, I pray for it every day. 

We can't undo the past, y'all. It's impossible. But! We *can* learn from our mistakes and do better going forward. That's the best that any of us can really do, so don't look back in despair; look back in honesty and reflection, yes, but try to learn whatever lesson there is to be had in your past mistakes and move forward, in gratitude and humility, and try to apply what you've learned to life going forward. If you're doing that, or trying to, I personally can see zero fault in you, none at all, because that means that your heart is in the right place. Anyway, who am I to judge? No one. 

Now, we are supposed to have discernment - that is "be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" - but part of discernment is being able to separate the sin from the sinner. Yes, condemn all acts of evil; concurrently, love the person doing those acts and pray for them; walk in love as best you can; it's what I'm trying to do and fail at constantly, but I will never stop trying, because "a righteous man falls and will arise seven times, but the wicked are brought down by calamity" (that's somewhere in Proverbs, paraphrased). This is wonderful news for you and for me, because that means that failure is ONLY fatal if we fail to keep trying again, no matter how many times it takes or how long that turns out to be.

Try again. Try harder.

This is a first/rough draft, thoughts typed out as I think them, so, please forgive the 'rough-cut' in the way that I write, and thank you for that.

Here is a link to today's Proverb, this time in the NIV version.

I Made a Choice and did the Thing on April 9th, 2026

Greetings and salutations, dear Reader, on a mild April evening, where I sit and type thoughts, my own which are safe to discuss. 

I may not disclose what "the thing" is exactly, not just yet. But it was huge. Huge and, I feel will turn out to be, pivotal as well. This is the game changer; this is where the rest of this earthly life takes off, in a whole 'nother direction! I'm concurrently at peace while tempted to allow Fear some room as well, but there is none. All courage really is is "doing it afraid" anyway. 

Give Me Your Eyes

💖

Banned in the USA on April 6th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure little blip in cyberspace. Welcome back if you've been here before; it's super early here in the MST, not yet four a.m. as I sit to start this chain of thoughts, drinking coffee. God is good (all the time!)

(insert "Lord, You Are Good" by Israel Houghton video here)😂
yeah, my blogger on this laptop still doesn't work right. 

Normally I read the day's Proverb, but for a few days early in the month including today, those Proverbs are all about infidelity/ sexual immorality. And, yes, that wisdom is good to learn and rehash! Only, I learned that lesson first hand in my twenties; in the intervening years, that kind of behavior has become truly morally repugnant to me so, in that one regard, I feel like I'm good, you know? 
The first 22 verses of today's Proverb are very good, full of more general wisdom, so there you have it. 

Well, praise God, I got banned on the perfume website again - get this, for posting religious content (on Easter aka Resurrection Sunday) and I bought some clothing, these things:

and

Um... they're clothes; I'm American. Tell me which political party this allegedly supports, because, to my mind, "America" means ALL Americans, irrespective of political affiliation, but, hey, that's just me. It's the nation's 250th anniversary this year, so I bought a shirt in commemoration, and a hat that I'll share with my husband (but look forward to throwing it on over a ponytail myself, too). 

And, of course I can't post it here due to the technical issues I'm having here (Yes, I should submit a support request, but I digress) there was also the YouTube video of a man reading the entire US Constitution aloud that I shared; again, our founding documents are relative to ALL Americans, not just Democrats, not just Republicans or Independents - but ALL Americans; it's historically relevant and educational. Again, political how exactly? Sheesh, y'all, the snowflakes are running this world into the ground. These are the same people who want to charge you with hate crimes for using the wrong pronouns, but celebrate murdering the unborn by ripping them limb from limb in the womb.

Please, guys, somebody make it make sense?

I didn't even get mildly irritated, let alone mad or worse when I read the admin's message about it, but brought up those observations that I just detailed here; I'm interested to see what, if any, the response will be? It's their call though; it's all good. 

I wore a favorite, pretty white dress yesterday, so today, I'm in a favorite old, oversized shirt (pale mint green with a lovely white dove decoration on the front) with some ankle-length, black cotton-blend leggings, barefoot but I'll grab my plain black leather ballet flats to leave the house, much, much later, once we've got daylight. It's all about a ponytail today, too, but I've dressed this very casual look up by wearing this new set that my husband gave me this past Valentine's Day:

Don't you just love the silent morning hours, before the rest of the surrounding world wakes up? This is the best part of the day, when I can truly not only hear myself think but, more importantly, it gives room for the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit to speak His mind to me, which I'm always in need of and greedy to hear every day, yes, even correction and rebuke! Hey, let's be real, I always have it coming (human = imperfect). But it's just like His Word says, that He corrects the child that He loves, as we do our own children. I'd rather hear His correction and rebuke rather than not hear from Him at all, that would be the worst fate in the Universe.
Damn but that's a scary thought! So yes, dear Lord, please never, ever stop correcting me and thank You! (in Jesus' Name, amen).

Now, to be funny, I'd normally post the video "Banned in the USA" by 2 Live Crew from way back in the day right here, but the technical issues I'm having... yes, yes, yes, I'll submit a support request soon! Jeez.
 
Fortunately I can get all political and religious here, though; if it offends you, feel free to leave if you like, that's all you. I'm good with it either way, really. If you happen to find some value in anything that I choose to share, that's great, and I hope that you do! It's not about ME anyway; it's literally all about the message, like in John 3:30 where John says "I must decrease that He may increase" - it's literally exactly that. My identity is in Him; the more of 'me' that melts into Him, the better! I apologize that I can't articulate that concept in a way that any unbeliever would be able to comprehend, but that's part of the nature of (real, genuine) faith and the mysteries of God; the great, wonderful news is that He can make it make sense and often does, if we diligently seek after the rewards of wisdom and understanding. "Seek" is indicative of far, far more than a casual, passing interest. Ladies, imagine you've lost a diamond earring; you know the way you'll grab a flashlight and move every piece of furniture in the house to try and find that lost earring? That, dear friend, is what it means to "seek" - it's the kind of attitude that He wants us to develop toward Him and His Word, the things of God in general. "Seek" - it's not a casual word, was put there on purpose, and it means what it means. If you're just sending up a wishlist to God and becoming an atheist when He doesn't meet your demands and those on your time table, you're doing it wrong, man. Try again. Try harder. 

Look at the AI breakdown of the verse that speaks to this very thing, from the book of Isaiah:

I legit hope that this will give you hope in God, knowing that you merely have to pursue Him passionately, trusting Him with your heart (the part of you that transcends and is far, far deeper than mere intellect). 

Anyway, I'll go make more coffee now. Sorry that I can't post videos here, but I'm sure you've all got your own YouTube or whatever thing going on. 

Thanks for stopping by and please have a great day as you seek the Lord and His will for you. He loves you so, so very much!💖

March 26th, 2026: A Brand New Day

 Good morning, et cetera, depending on where you find yourself at this moment, dear Reader, and welcome to yet another undeserved, unpromised day on this side of the Grave. We are so very fortunate, aren't we? 

On this laptop, I'm very grateful to be able to type again, rather than hamfisting error after typing error at a snail's pace on the tiny phone 'keyboard', which is a great thing. On the other hand, there are some limited functions, particularly here in blogger.com, making it impossible to easily insert videos, so, if you'd like to at least read today's Proverb, click HERE. (I've chosen the Amplified translation for today). 

An AI "me into an android" Grok creation based on the photo I provided:

And, since dropping videos in posts here is currently not easily done, I'll just share with you that the first piece of music that came to mind today is Sting's "Brand New Day" and, though not Scriptural, did remind me of His promise to us from the OT book of Lamentations:

(the third chapter).

IDK about you, but even though I listen to the day's Proverb, a small serving from the Book of Wisdom, I've yet to be completely cured of idiocy. C'est la Vie! This is why we keep getting up and trying again, no? 
Time for some more coffee. 

We really like Mark Manson (YouTube). Don't know what his politics are, don't care: he's intelligent, funny, crass enough to be down to earth without overdoing it into downright vulgar territory and (my favorite part!) he tells the truth. Yes, even when it sucks; yes, even when the softest blow still lands like a ton of bricks. It's awesome. He's got this one recent video where he talks about the mental gymnastics that he used on himself to quit smoking cigarettes back in 2008; I've seen it twice so far (which, for those who know me, understand that this means that I'm just barely getting started).

 
Anyway, this is a pic of what you're looking for, in case you wish to watch it yourself:

That's all I've got at the moment with regard to what I feel like sharing. Thanks for stopping by and see you next time. 💗

Feelings and other inconveniences

Greetings and salutations, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure sliver of cyberspace where, at least at this moment, free speech still reigns supreme.

I've been in therapy now since late last year, and I think that it's starting to work? Reason being, I am in the most irksome position of feeling feelings, in fact, my own.

Here's a thought that could have been better nuanced:

So, the concept was typed as I thought and felt it; to deliver the very same truth in a mor palatable way, how about:

Dear Parents, 

Please keep every promise made to your child, especially something as free and easy as tuckthe child in bed at night. If you don't, that child may mistake the oversight as your way of saying that the child is of no importance to you. 

I recognize that the second version isn't perfect either, but at least it's not as wounded or brutally raw.

 All progress counts.

The real reason that I'm in therapy is so that I can face and work through past traumas, rather than allowing those to dictate broken forms of relating to others. To not do so would be cowardly at best, if not downright criminal.

Fear doesn't get to call the shots in my life. And, as a very wise person once said, "The only thing we have to fear is Fear itself".