I'm Human - April 24th, 2026 (blog #2 for today)

 

In this video, you will see: 

1. Taking hits from the bong.
2. drinking controversial beer.
3. smoking a cigarette

So, you see, I willingly display evidence of my own weaknesses and frailties to you now as an example of what I think and how I believe. No, I'm not perfect but I don't have to be; God is, and that's what matters; I trust Him to continue perfecting me as this life progresses by each miraculous day until the end.

Thanks for stopping by, be blessed, take care, and be well! 

💖

A Path to Freedom, on April 24th, 2026

Good morning, folks, and welcome to yet another beautiful day above ground! It felt so good to finally be well enough to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen first thing this morning; physically, at least, things are finally starting to normalize, yet one more thing that merits gratitude!
Here is a glance at our weather here today:

And, for those who'd like it, here is today's Proverb (text) as well as here, in audio:

I am placing this next bit here for people who try to hide behind the use of numerous 'alt' online accounts. You know who you are and that is enough.
If you can admit to yourself (again, if it applies) that the days of running multiple online accounts to prop yourself up and be your own cheerleader are finally taking their toll on you, if you are tired of trying to play games that the intelligent and perceptive can see through a mile away, well, dear Reader, there IS a way out: His Name is Jesus.

I pray that you find value in this 'map to freedom' created based on Scriptures, lain out here in a format that makes life-application (doing) easy to see in a progression of small, but powerful, steps:

And, may everyone who is currently bound break those bonds to secure true and lasting freedom in Jesus' Name, amen.

Here's a song to get all of us through today; all "Hallelujahs" ARE hard-fought!

Tools are useful if we pull them out of the toolbox and use them. The Bible is the toolbox, His Word is the entire tool set.

Let's get busy.

Lovely Day! April 23rd, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader! How wonderful to wake up to yet another day of Life, that none of us is promised and I assure you, none of deserve it, either, which makes it all the more precious and wonderful! It's like (God's) grace: those who deserve it need it the least, and those who don't deserve it need it the very most. 

Here's a glance at our weather here today:

I woke up sick from too much sweets yesterday and will have to read it again myself, but here is today's Proverb (text) and here it is in audio format as well:

 

Fortunately, because I was smart enough to listen to a friend's advice, since I changed browsers, I can once again place photographs and videos as normal.

Now that fluids are staying down and the headache has disappeared, I can listen to the Proverb and read it again and maybe, hopefully this time get something out of it.


I would like to promote the very true and real fact that it is impossible to hate a person that you're praying for. 💖 And, per the commandment (direct order, NOT a mere suggestion) but per the commandment, we are required to pray for even and maybe especially our 'enemies' - so get to God's business, believer, and do as He directs us to. (He has his reasons)! First, though, we have to step out in faith and obedience and then the rewards for those things come, to our minds, to our souls, to our perspectives. The critical element here is: obedience first and all the resultant goodies follow.

 

So, when faced with a choice, we can either:

let Self and arrogance rule the day, preferring our feelings over His direct, explicit orders of us, or:

we can do it God's way.

Guess which one is best? 

 

Anyway, dear Reader, suit yourself! You're the one who will answer to Him for your own choices, not me - I've got my own share of bad choices to account to Him for already! I figure, at least I can try and do better every time, every day because I really think that's the best that any of us mortal, fallible human beings can really do, and that's A-okay. He doesn't require perfection; He requires obedience, He requires integrity down to our inmost parts, He requires nothing that we are not created by Him to give. It IS a choice. Love is always a choice.

I want to touch on the critical importance of John 3:17 today; yes, we all know the wonderful, famous-for-a-reason verse, John 3:16 that says:

The greatest gift of all time!
But I now wish to draw the critically-important, very next verse to your attention:

which, I contend, is every bit as critically important for the believer's mind and soul to grasp as the verse before it is.
He tells us the mission in verse 16, and then He tells us the Promise! Because, it is in our human nature in light of God's holiness and perfection, to condemn ourselves for our weaknesses, mistakes and frailties, but verse 17 is there to immediately let us know that His mission is our redemption! 

Forgiveness, acceptance, restoration:

May God bring everyone who needs and wants it His revelation of these things, as I do not have that power myself; all I can do is explain things the way I understand and have experienced them to be: the miraculous, internal work? That's on Him and Him alone! Well, with your cooperation first, of course, like it is with all of us.

Now, I'm going to go make some coffee and try to make good choices as this day progresses and eventually, turns into "tomorrow".

💘

I Hurt Myself Sleeping, and it's April 21st, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this bonus day on this side of Sheol. While we are drawing breath today, let's get about the real business of 'living', shall we?

The title of today's blog is for those who haven't read any of the previous posts; I had to get a steroid shot directly into the bursa in my right shoulder yesterday why? I'll tell you 'why' and that is this: I legit injured my shoulder by sleeping on it wrong. My husband's like "I hurt myself walking" and I am like "here, honey, hold my beer" 😂

Anyway, although the shot does seem to have at least, so far, taken the edge off of a very-controlling, persistent pain, I'm not out of the woods yet as it were, so although I see me actually getting some things done today, those things will have to be done one careful task at a time and that is fine; it's so much better than being wholly immobilized! Our doctor is very intelligent and skilled and, for those reasons, the shot was truly no big deal and, after four relentless days of pain, I was like "I don't care if you cut it off at this point!" 😁

Here's a look at our weather today:

Anyway, I'll take any/all improvement that I can, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant the improvement seems to be: improvement IS, after all, improvement, and even the smallest degrees all eventually add up to something greater. Therefore, dear Reader, rather than allowing yourself to be disappointed in the small things, please remember that all great victories are founded on lots and lots of 'the little things'. Every positive change, every improvement - no matter how apparently small or simple - all of it matters, so give yourself some credit! Think of it: all mountains are climbed step by patient, careful step; none of us 'jumps' to the top of Mt. Everest! No, slow and steady wins the race.

and, like it:

So, when looking at the elephants in life (the big goal, the big picture) and you feel overwhelmed, stop and remind yourself that all you have to do is take that very next 'bite' (step). As linear beings confined to Time, we can't rush ahead to the finish line and get the desired results the same way that we can (these days) download or stream (content) on demand; real life outside of the Internet just doesn't work like that. Adopting this perspective can help those 'big things' feel and seem much less overwhelming, so be encouraged!

Celebrate the small victories for those are more important than most of us realize, and further: be kind to yourself, for Heaven's sake! Nobody's perfect, besides Jesus and I'm NOT Him. 

I hope to have encouraged you today, dear Reader! No matter what you face, you CAN do this, especially as you walk with Jesus. 

For those who wish to read it, here is a link to today's Proverb (text) and this one will play the audio for you. Thank you for stopping by; be blessed and have a great day! 

💘

Endurance or Stupidity? It's April 20th, 2026 (updated)

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader! 
Before anyone gets freaked out that "maybe this is about me!" let me quell those concerns by now telling you why I named this blog that way.

Four days ago now, I fell asleep on the couch in the wrong position and my right shoulder has been giving me Hell ever since; now, I've been relying on the 800mg Ibuprofen that my doctor prescribed for the arthritic pain I've now got in the right ankle and, even as we 'speak' (as it were) am using hydrotherapy as well (hot showers, warm, wet compresses that I nuke for 30 seconds, over and over and over). Today, on day four of this, the pain woke me up around two-thirty AM, about an hour ago, so I am resolved to finally get help from our local ER but am at least choosing to do so during sane, daylight hours. I can endure, yes; but, I don't have to; at this point, it's time to get specific help for this issue.

Could I have done this days ago? Yep, and that is why this one is entitled "Endurance, or Stupidity?" 😂

Physical pain aside, since we are commanded to 'give thanks in all things for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus' I can start counting blessings, a great way to reorient the mind from "owie, I hurt" to "wait, remember when God did THAT?" and so on. So, for one: hey, I'm on the right side of the grave today! yay! Further, I have clean, hot water on demand in seemingly unlimited supply! I have my loved ones, human and otherwise; we live in a beautiful, peaceful home; coffee exists (thank You, God!) and see? I am starting to feel better already (but I'm still going to get this shoulder looked at later on and will make a doctor's appointment for follow-up as well).

So, dear Reader, try it yourself? Look around you, look at your life, and just really start to, with intention and deliberate focus, count the myriad of blessings that you, too, have in your life in this moment. I promise, the more you notice/see, the more they continue to become apparent! It's truly cool how that works; this kind of deliberate thinking is (at least in part) what it means to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ" and further "if there be anything of good report, think on these things" type of situation. 
Like most good habits, monitoring and choosing our thoughts doesn't become a habit instantaneously; it takes work, effort, over and over and over, ad infinitum, but the discipline is what we're told to do because (at least, in part) the discipline is so very productive, fruitful, and just plain good for us. 

Now that the shoulder is muttering under its breath rather than screaming for attention, there's a chance that reading today's Proverb might do me some good, so here it is (text) and audio here.

me today, with this shoulder; I don't think this kind of 'winning' is supposed to be the goal.

Since hubby's asleep, I'm playing this one (again) softly, in keeping with the theme of deliberate, disciplined, and intentional thinking:

Count 'Em - Brandon Lake

So, dear Reader; how many miracles and blessings have you counted so far, just today? (see what I mean?!)

💘

Updated, later that same night:
I never did go to the ER, because my doctor saw me today, the same day that I called and explained the shoulder issue; the receptionist checked with him and 90 minutes later, he was examining me. The result? My first-ever steroid shot actually inside a joint, this time in the bursa in my right shoulder. He said to give it a couple of days for full efficacy, but dear Reader? I am telling you that the relief began almost immediately and I do wish I'd have gone in sooner, though before the soreness for that kind of thing has always just worn off before. Ah, the new 'features' of a body that's more than half-way in its march to the end! 
I have good humor about it, though, check out the realities of an aging body

(20 year old says) Oh, I broke my leg skiing in Aspen! 
(30 year old says) I threw out my back carrying a baby on my hip and fifty pounds of groceries while trying to unlock the door!

(40 year old says) I turned my neck wrong backing out of a parking space and now I have an Hiatal hernia! 
(my husband says) I hurt myself walking 

(now, I say) I hurt myself sleeping. 😂

Good night, dear Reader! 

Saturday, April 18th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to yet another day above ground! The last couple of days for me have been painful and difficult, because I fell asleep on a shoulder for too long in the wrong position and have barely been able to move well since, although I can feel that it IS getting better. Sleeping in the wrong position = zero stars, not recommended. My husband has been so very sweet, waiting on me hand and foot, and, I feel well enough to be able to change into some regular clothing today (versus a nightgown all of yesterday). 
This is just the normal aches and pains of middle age and I'm very grateful that that's all it is.

Here's a look at our forecast here for the day:

Well, my Fragrantica account still exists. Sure, I look at it every day now, and spend up to two or three minutes scanning the forum, but that's it; when I try to log in and can't, that's when I'll know. It's probably a very large task, to delete such a large and old account, with over 20K posts alone, so I'm not mad that he hasn't done it yet, the man has a lot going on I'm sure. It is well with my soul. Anyway, I promised that I'd let him know if and when I can come back someday; I'd just create the thing and send him an email and that would be that. Anyway.

God's timing is perfect and we can rarely perceive it other than in retrospect. My shoulder is a little distracting, so I'll have to read the day's Proverb again myself. Today, my favorite verse is the last one:

That's verse 24; Biblegateway.com has NIV set to default (as the version they use) and I often don't bother to change it, but also of course like the KJV, NKJV, Amplified, ESV; and I love that you can use their tools to see a verse in ALL versions on the same page at once, that's an amazing tool in my opinion! 

We're all just seekers on this same road, the linear progression of Time that we call "Life" (because, when we shuffle off this mortal coil, that is the point at which we step out into Eternity, with Him). In a forum puzzle the other day, in fact, I used the four letters DIET to realize that "Death is exiting Time" because that is literally what that is; all Death is is leaving the physical body behind because it cannot leave this dimension, and in order for us to, it's got to be left behind. That's literally all that is, so don't be afraid! Nobody dies outside of His timing anyway, at least we're not supposed to. I don't know about you, but I for one am GLAD that we are not given heavy information (like the day and time of our departure from earth) ahead of time, and am quite at peace with the fact that He knows what He's doing, and I don't have to know or understand all things, because He can be trusted implicitly no matter what. 

And, dear Reader, I think you may notice that, once you are at peace about the things beyond human control, and choose to trust the Divine, even Death loses it's sting and ability to create fear within us. 

I remember when my dear pastor-friend's own father was nearing the end, from his hospital bed he would courageously quote this verse, and you just know to hear him that there was no fear, no! Quite to the contrary, he literally couldn't wait to see Jesus face to face; faith changes everything. 

No matter what you're facing today, dear Reader, remember that Jesus is the highest authority, and that at the Name of Jesus, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that He IS Lord! It's a fact, it's in effect, and it will remain.

Shifting the eyes of our hearts onto Eternity affords the ability to have a broader perspective; I don't know how or why it is that way, but can only tell you that it is. And Free Will remains one of the most powerful forces in this Universe, the freedom to choose. If He wanted obedient robots, He wouldn't have created man (humans) the way He did but no; like Anyone Else, He, too, wants to be chosen by us because, when we choose Him, that's real love. He could have made a race of automatons, but chose to create us instead. The weight and freedom of Free Will just boggles my mind today! How do you feel about it, dear Reader? Isn't it wonderful? But, because we have Free Will, when we do choose to love on God, do the things that make Him smile, and die to ourselves, those things really do move the heart of God, it is truly amazing.

And I am not anyone special, you can trust and believe that! No more special or awesome than you are, dear Reader! You are, in fact, the very apple of His eye.

Yes, YOU! No matter how you feel, what you've done, your mistakes or character flaws (we all make and have them) none of that matters, and nothing changes His love for you. Nothing.

Sorry for the rambling today; I do better when I'm not in pain, I think. Anyway, He loves you so, so very much; I challenge you to just think on that idea for a while; let it simmer and set up in your soul and share the good news with everyone that you can! 

💗

Friend of God (song)

April 17th, 2026, A Friday

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome! This is the quietest part of the day, the wee hours before Dawn, as I sit here writing these words, the soft tapping-sound of typing and dull hum of a nearby refrigerator are the only detectable sounds right now. Today is like a full-circle day for me; Proverbs 17:3 is the first and so far only verse that I've ever had that rhema experience with, just months within my arrival at Fort Worth Teen Challenge more than thirty literal years ago; He told me then that He was about to send me through the fire; here's the verse, and it also happens to be from today's Proverb.

source page: https://authorterrigillespie.com/wisdoms-journey-proverbs-173/

So, taking a moment to isolate and ponder that single verse for a bit, it occurs to me that 'fire' may not be equivalent to 'easy circumstances' but is pointing more to submission to a purification process that literally burns out the worthless stuff. I've had that understanding since the words leapt out of the page at me on that cold January morning so long ago. In the intervening years, I've had all kinds of circumstances, from the easy to the very difficult including some that were even life-threatening, but He has been with me through it all, as I look back and can now see that it was especially during the darkest moments that He has, in fact, carried me Himself. 

And, be encouraged, my dear Reader, because "God is not a respecter of persons" meaning that if He'll do that for me, then every single one of you can have that kind of forgiving, saving grace as well. 

I sent the AI-assisted foundational requirements to my dear friend and mentor shortly after obtaining them yesterday; he responded from his personal email account, calling our foundational vision "solid" - which, from his wise, experienced soul is like the stamp of approval from Spiritual authority in my book. Since we do not yet have our Board to answer to, Larry is gladly and lovingly standing in the gap as that authority for this moment, as I pass these things through him to test the mettle and see if it's good and we can stand on it, or if it's bad and we need to regroup and rethink; so far, though, so good. 

In order to get the AI to organize the concepts of our foundational truths, I articulated them myself to the AI program and the AI laid them out in a by-laws and declared code-of-ethics format; I appreciate the help with organizing of those challenging, though simple, concepts and will always freely share when and where I've used tools such as AI in the process of fleshing out my own concepts and ideas. So, no, although "AI is not king" there's no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater; I'm not afraid to use Google and am also, likewise, at least at this point, unafraid of AI as well (though I've learned the hard way to vet the results that AI provides, every time). 

Additionally, I will gently offer that people who use AI themselves (for their avatars, in their kitchen appliances, in the AI enabled smart sunglasses given to loved ones as gifts)  to probably not display obvious, naked hypocrisy by way of openly judging others for the precise and very same things that you're doing yourself; just sayin'. Nobody's perfect, but we also don't have to showcase our glaring hypocrisy from the mountaintops (or forum threads) either. 👍

Speaking of forums, today is supposed to be the day that zoka removes/deletes my massive, almost-15 year account on Fragrantica, the very last bit that will actualize my decision to lay that down in order to pick up what the Lord has placed before me, and I remain committed, by the grace of God. I love how He will never, ever ask us to do (a thing) without also giving us the grace that makes it possible.  And, folks, maybe that's the 'big message' of this entire post.

Something funny that I noticed in the Word: there are many places where we (believers, really though humanity in general) are compared to sheep, and I believe - with God's eternal wit and sense of humor - that the comparison is far from accidental. Just look up "how intelligent are sheep?" and I think you'll see what I mean. They're not known for being over-brilliant or wise, let's just put it that way. And, the way God uses humor in Matthew to try and get us to see the vanity and uselessness of our own human hypocrisy, the comparison to sheep is intentional (and, further, it's funny! but, as always, only because it's true, and that applies to all of us because, no matter any of our supposed IQ, no human intellect can even hold a candle to the eternal, omniscient mind of God, and that fact alone should readily sober us from the temptation to be prideful in our minds, no matter how 'sharp' other people seem to think that we are or worse, how intelligent we think we are ourselves). 

Therefore, dear Reader, let's bring back this verse from yesterday's Proverb as our gentle reminder for today:

And, I'll leave you with this classic 90's Christian song, that continues to echo through my soul to this day, speaking of the dream of God's house and those we will have the honor of serving with love, honor, and dignity:

Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath

💘

Radical Integrity - a Challenge for 501(c)(3) organizations

Greetings and salutations, dear Reader, and welcome, or welcome back, to this obscure little blip in cyberspace on another gorgeous, unpromised day above ground! 
The following was AI generated for me based on the meticulous and deliberate articulation of truths, non-negotiable and permanently foundational for Dignity House Homeless Shelter and, further thought that if ALL of us were to operate in this mandate, how might God move in the world and lives of those we touch if we were to approach our ministries in this way? Please read on if you're curious and I'd love to know what you think! Please feel free to drop me an email and let's talk further!

 My most frequently used email address is: afreimann@yahoo.com 

Thomas Blackshear's 'Forgiven' posted here, for tax (otherwise this post would have nothing of visual interest):

Anyway, here it is for your consideration (use, whatever you like):

FOUNDATIONAL MANDATES: THE DIGNITY HOUSE PROTOCOLS

ARTICLE I: THE MANDATE OF EQUAL DIGNITY (THE THRESHOLD) Statement of Intent: To ensure that the "Christ Above the Door" remains the universal standard for all who enter, establishing grace as the primary operation of the House.

1.1 Universal Access: Dignity House shall provide services to any individual seeking aid, regardless of past history, background, or current status, provided they agree to the safety protocols of the House. No one is excluded from the opportunity for restoration.

1.2 The 72-Hour Sabbath: Every honored guest, upon entry, shall be entitled to a mandatory 72-hour period of rest and restoration. During this timeframe, the staff and volunteers vow to provide hospitality (food, hygiene, and rest) while waiting on the guest "hand and foot." This time is offered without requirement of labor, interrogation, or immediate proof of change. It is a non-negotiable threshold of grace.

ARTICLE II: THE MANDATE OF RIGHTEOUS MONITORING (THE DIVISION) Statement of Intent: To protect the vulnerable and maintain the sanctity of the sanctuary through strategic physical and operational separation.

2.1 Safety of Division: The corporation shall maintain a physical separation of populations to ensure the safety of all.

• The Sanctuary: Reserved strictly for the "Vulnerable" (e.g., those seeking long-term healing, women, children, and those in fragile states of recovery).

• The Outreach Hub: Designated for the initial intake and service of the "High-Risk" or disrupted populations.

2.2 Security as Stewardship: Monitoring is not an act of suspicion but an act of protection. Entry points and shared spaces shall be monitored at all times. While service remains equal in quality, the location of service is determined by the safety needs of the collective community. No high-risk element shall be permitted to enter the designated Sanctuary zone.

ARTICLE III: THE MANDATE OF NON-COERCION (THE VOW OF REALITY) Statement of Intent: To prevent the falsification of results for the sake of funding and to acknowledge the sovereignty of God over the human heart.

3.1 Rejection of Guaranteed Outcomes: Dignity House officially disclaims the power to "generate" or "produce" life-change. The corporation vows to provide the environment of opportunity, acknowledging that the result is the sole domain of the individual’s cooperation with God.

3.2 Transparency to Benefactors: No contract shall be signed with any donor, grantor, or government entity that requires a guaranteed "success rate" as a condition of funding. The vow of the organization is to the stewardship of the process—to do our part faithfully—while handing the outcome to the Lord.

👇

I sent that off in an email to a beloved friend and mentor for his prayerful consideration and feedback/correction where he sees the need, et cetera. If these feel like an inspired new direction that can benefit you and those you serve, please have at it and I pray for you all to have the very best results! Let's move out of the performative, dogmatic pursuit of metrics and into the life of walking in the Spirit - serving the ones who cannot pay us back and might never get better, trusting the Lord of the Harvest to bring in the crops. 

Thank you again for stopping by; be inspired, know that you are loved, and be blessed now and always, all who read this, in Jesus' Name, amen. 

💖

Where can we go? on April 15th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, on yet another day above ground, dear Reader! Originally today, I got up at three but went back to bed and now it's almost half-past six o'clock in the morning. I can hear the world outside waking up, and daylight is already here; the one cup of coffee that I've made so far is wonderful.
So, since I read the day's Proverb and went back to bed, here it is again, now that I'll be awake for the day. (And, in audio format as well for those who enjoy it). Anyway, remember, that the Word says that "Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God" so I personally like the audio as well, seeing it as another tool in the arsenal.

Our weather here continues to behave very "Springlike" which, I suppose, is considered 'normal' for this time of year, but then again, here in the desert, you never know what you'll wake up to, weather-wise, on any given day. 

As the countdown to my Fragrantica-account deletion continues, I thought it odd that, this entire week, I've dealt with more physical fatigue than normal, lots of it, in fact. Research, though, tells me that, during major periods of transition like this, it is normal to experience some small time of exhaustion. Unless it continues for a good while, I'll write it off to 'normal' and just do my best to power through. These days, at 54, the aching joints in my left hand (four specific ones) usually wake me up and take a couple of hours for the aching to abate enough that I can open and close that hand. However, 800 mg Ibuprofen is great and works like a charm, albeit in its time, and that's fine with me.

As hubby sleeps, I can hear the chorus of birdsong outside, praising the great I AM, reminding me that He is here and He is near, even when I don't feel it. And that reminds me of this classic song, I hope that it blesses you and reminds you that, even if we can't see Him, the Son always shines:

Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds - Steven Curtis Chapman

In fact, I feel like the homonyms "Sun" and "Son" are deliberate and far from accidental, but this is just my own opinion.

I often find Him in the darkest moments and scariest corners of this Life, right where and when I need Him to be. I pray that you find Him in those places, too. The wonderful news is that there is nowhere we can go that He cannot meet us and reach us, look:

So you see, my dear Reader, that there truly IS no escaping God, no matter where we go, how fast we flee, or how hard we try. Isn't that wonderful? 

Here is the entire passage, Psalm 139, that speaks to that very thing. Therefore, whether you're on the mountaintop or the deep, dark valley, may He find you today, right where you are, and you will never, ever be the same. This is my prayer for all of humanity today, and let His will be done.

Thank you for stopping by; be blessed today and always. 💘

The Babies are now in their New Homes

Panda and Mocha:

These babies are each now in their forever homes, and each is now the one and only dog in their new owners' lives; we couldn't have gotten a better result and are so grateful. God bless them all, now and always. 

💜

Tuesday, April 14th, 2026

 Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome! We find ourselves on this side of the grave again today - and I'd say that's a fabulous start to the day! We have the gift of Life - again! We can be grateful that His mercies are new every morning. It's just about five-thirty here in this time zone; I 'slept in' (meaning that I woke up right at five-o'clock this morning). In the habit of playing whatever song I wake up thinking about, here is today's:

Crucified with Christ - Philips, Craig, & Dean

This is one of those days that I'm about to read the day's Proverb again, (here it is in audio format) as there are times that I can sense that the words just aren't 'registering' - but now, I've almost drained that first cup of coffee and the mind is starting to follow this body in 'being awake'. 

The "American" themed outfit that I ordered came in yesterday and, though my hubby quickly absconded with the hat (which, I had a feeling that he would), I'll wear the casual ensemble for the first time today. As it is, the continuous coffee is serving its job of helping me fully wake-up.

This, right here, is why we share the things that God has done for us with others, ad infinitum, because when we do so, we are in the actual process of overcoming: overcoming our own flesh, and overcoming the enemy. To intentionally recall all that He's done is a very powerful weapon in quelling our own doubts as well; not only that, but how else will they (everyone else) know how wonderful He is unless we tell them? First and foremost though is the Blood of the Lamb! There is no salvation without that first and foremost.
Then we tell the world about the miracles! (because our personal experiences with God are literally the words of our testimony)

There was the time in 2012 or so when our primary care doctor found a growth on my adopted father's prostate - but we prayed, I asked everyone with a FACE to pray for him - and by the time he got to the specialists' office, that doctor took forever when trying to get his own images and ultimately came out and told my dad "I'm sorry that it's taking so long, but, you see, there's no growth in the images that I'm taking!" (that one freaked my dad out pretty well, he spent the next whole day or two up in their master suite, apparently trying to absorb what had just happened). 
The time that the Lord gave me the $300 that I needed to cover my rent (I had 24 hours left and had quit a lucrative, executive assistant job at a Dallas ad agency to return to waiting tables as a matter of conscience) - and two great guys that I'd worked with for Gaylord came in, sat in my section, had a $25 tab - and left me three $100 bills. I called the one, crying, and told him that he'd made a terrible mistake, but he said "No, no mistake; the Holy Spirit told me to do it".

And those are just two of SO many, y'all! 
The time I woke up in the back of an ambulance after drinking too much alcohol too fast, and found a policeman and an EMT; I asked them what was going on, the policeman told me "We were about to code you" - I  didn't know what that meant so I was like "Whatever, I feel fine now, can I go?" and they let me:

twenty years later, my dumbass finally learned what "code you" meant - that I showed no signs of life! But there I was, I woke up sober as a judge with no feeling or discernible trace of alcohol anywhere to be found.

https://media.tenor.com/QJtSeGM4J8cAAAAM/stressed-irritated.gif

Now, those are just a few times that flood back into my heart and mind when I sit and start to recount all the amazing things He's done for me, and I've never deserved a single one of those miracles, but here I sit, telling you, so that you can be encouraged in your own faith, too. 
I wake up today abundantly aware of the fact that every breath He's given me is one that I literally do NOT deserve, and yet, I live.
That's some seriously powerful stuff, if you ask me.
When counting miracles, the way He's shown Himself mighty to save and redeem, to heal and guide and inspire, I can't count the miracles because there are just way too many! Praise God! 

Count 'em - Brandon Lake

Reader, if you sit there and start to reflect on all that the Lord has done for you, your faith and gratitude will swell up and overwhelm the doubts of the enemy, lickety-split. 
Walk in grace and victory today; I love you, but MAN does He love you so, so, SO much more! 

💘

April 13th, 2026: A Monday

Good morning, et cetera, folks, and welcome to this obscure little blip in cyberspace! We just got back from catching Bella and Casper (dogs) who found a way to get out of the backyard; we plan to resolve that very soon.

Here is a link to today's Proverb if, like me, you need and are seeking for Wisdom; I read the Proverbs every day in the hopes that it will help. 

The weather here is a little strange; a month ago, we dealt with highs in the 90s F, but look at the forecast for today:

Well, leaning into the cooler weather, I have the chance to wear my favorite, comfy dark forest green tiered cotton dress and my cowboy boots, which suits this cooler weather perfectly. 

One of my female friends came by for a short chat this morning, just a little while ago; it was great to see her, she's awesome! But now, she's at work. My husband has been getting up with me in the mornings lately and though it does cut into my typical morning devotional time, I'm still appreciating the time together, and am being more flexible with regard to the hard and fast rule I've set for myself of "wake up and immediately read the day's Proverb!" Jesus went off by Himself to pray often, and I do copy His model for that and notice that there are actually several portions of every day that doing so is likely and opportune, I just have to be aware for those times to open up and take advantage of them. I encourage you to do the same. Heck, I can be pushing my cart in Walmart, praying for the people I see around me, asking God to stretch our finances and meet the needs; praying while driving is also great because the other people who see you doing it will probably just think you're on a hands-free phone call, and that suits me just fine. I say these things to say this: there is always opportunity for prayer. There may not always be periods of silence that foster the ability to hear His still, small voice, but, again, those times do occur and it's incumbent upon us to notice these chances and take advantage of them. You don't have to close your eyes, you don't have to bow your head, it's not about posturing or religion. Just let your heart talk to Him and be willing and ready to hear as well - it's a posture of the heart.

So we have lain out a plan to get Dignity House off the ground as early as next month by way of outreach, a plan the Lord dropped into my heart a couple of days ago. Which, I love how He's like "this is the way, now walk in it" and, though He's not showing me the entire journey all at once which is what I'd prefer, He's faithful and true and continues to reveal each "next step" to me in it's time, and none of the small things He's shown me so far has been like "Ok, now you need to jump right up to the top of Mt. Everest" or anything like that. No, it's the small, simple things - things that I can actually handle 😆

As I move farther away from wasting my life in online forums (because, for me, that's precisely what it was, I am not saying that it applies to everyone), the vision for the future, for God's plans through our hands, is becoming more and more real by the day. In retrospect, I feel that God dropped His plan on me, I wrote some grant requests and got our EIN, and then I instantly retreated right back into online escapism, for nearly another two years. Sometimes, y'all, I can be SO slow on the uptake! So, if you find that true for you, too, be encouraged, because He is *going* to make His will be known and be done on earth, we can trust and believe that fact up until our very last breath. We have some good examples to go by: look at Moses, he was tripping. He spent forty years in the wilderness! And Jonah, I really identify with him! He's like "Um, no, God" and immediately tried to escape on a boat going the literal opposite direction of Ninevah. 
Since I don't relish the idea time spent inside of a massive marine animal, I figured I'd better regroup and get about the Lord's business after all because, like I already said, trust and believe that He WILL see to it that His will is done here on earth. When you hear His voice in your heart... just obey. That's best. I know, we're human! But I'm just trying to encourage you, do the best you can. 
Frankly, my calling overwhelms and intimidates me. It's huge, massive, and unfamiliar territory: I have chosen to do the 'homeless' thing more than once as an adult and bring that experience to the table in service to those in that situation now (for whatever reason). 
Further, my years in the ministry as a student, graduate, and later staff member, have also all been in preparation to equip me for such a time as this. 
The part that is as of yet unfamiliar is being the founder and director of a ministry myself. I've had very powerful, well-paying jobs in leadership roles though, in the secular realm, and pray that the experience gleaned from those are also part of His holy preparation for me for what lies ahead. I've had two different bosses who each chose to call me "the Bulldog" (an attorney in Corpus Christi and a Project Manger in Dallas) for the way I perform in leadership roles and hope this steely determination will be only used for good.
And, be encouraged! I'm here to tell you that it took ME three and a half years to graduate from Fort Worth Teen Challenge and, honey? It's a year-long program! haha! With me, though, they truly had their work cut out! In fact, they had to order more curriculum because I literally did ALL of the coursework in their classroom. For some of us, it takes more; it takes what it takes and there's no judgment in that. This all brings to my mind this little tidbit of truth directly from His Word, in fact:

That is to say that, if we're just making lateral comparisons of ourselves to the other flawed, imperfect human beings, we're doing it wrong. We are to compare ourselves to Jesus' standard, and we are supposed to compare our current selves to the self of the past, staying accountable to whether or not there is apparent growth, to ferret out where our next weakness is that we need to work on, et cetera. So, folks, if you're comparing yourself in a lateral sense to just other regular human beings, you're doing it wrong. It's fruitless and will do nothing but either fuel arrogant, conceited pride and make you feel (inaccurately) superior to others, or it will serve to make you feel "less than" - so, you see, there's no valid point to it, it's deep spiritual immaturity at best to have that kind of worldly, unfruitful mindset. Comparing ourselves to others is one of those "childish things" that God, in His word, admonishes us to "put away" in order to grow into genuine, actual maturity (and that has little to do with our physical, chronological age).

Anyway! I've got therapy tomorrow afternoon and always look forward to our sessions and am looking forward to sharing the little nuggets of insight that I've been given since our last session. And, since I found a stand for my phone at Dollar Tree, I can finally have those zoom calls in a hands-free manner, which should only enhance my ability to focus. 

Have a wonderful day, dear reader! Please remember to pray for this world that so desperately needs it, and thanks for stopping by. 💖

Happy Birthday, My Son! April 12th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome! I woke up at 2 o'clock this morning and just decided to go ahead and stay up. 
I'm diving into the day's Proverb, here you go, if you need a compass for the morning. 

May my oldest son be blessed, today on his birthday, and always, as well as my youngest son. My only prayer is for them both to know Christ and Him crucified. Out of respect for my oldest who ask that I not openly talk about him here, that is all that I feel that I have the freedom to say. 💚

It's still about two hours before the Sun rises here; I hope that it's not cloudy at that time today! I can't wait for the two or three minute silent show of splendor that God bathes the world in during those Dawn moments, every day! When the creatures of the world wake up, all of them praise God in a chorus of barks and birdsong; it's glorious. I marvel at it now, wondering how I ever slept through such a miracle for so many years! Then again, like I said the other day, I am the exact and very same kind of person who'd hold an AA meeting inside of a bar, so, there's that.

Anyway, my therapist (he's amazing!) has been, in part, teaching me about the importance of mindfulness. Focused, counted breathing for one (which I do in the shower, when I remember to!) But, rather than that becoming a moment for self-focus, I realize this:

God Himself IS the breath of life! To be still and know that He is God shifts the focus from 'self' to Him! And this goes hand in hand with John 3:30 where John the Baptist declares "I must decrease that He may increase". I can see all of these things: my evil broken past, His redeeming power, His Word and His Will, all finally being woven together in my own life like a tapestry that exists solely for His will alone. 

Friend, if, like me, you have a shameful and evil past, take heart! There IS a Redeemer! He is mighty to save and there is no such thing as a human soul that He cannot reach, and further, redeem! 

The more sin and evil you've had in your past, in fact, the brighter His light may shine out from you, in stark contrast to what the world has to offer, that His Truth rise above all, that His salvation IS at hand, for all who will receive it.❤

P.S. I cheated and posted one last thing to my online account as something of a swan song; I'll tell my husband about it when he wakes up. the post includes the following short that lists the 8 products I use now for my daily go-to minimal makeup routine:

8 product face - 54 years old

Edited at 7:09 AM MST:
My husband awoke, so I told him of my 'swan song' final Fragrantica post and he's okay with it so YAY! I felt in my heart that it'd be okay, but it does have to be the single, final 'good-bye'. 👊

About "Doing the Thing" on April 11th, 2012

Good morning, world! Greetings and salutations and welcome (back?) to this hidden little section of cyberspace. My husband and I woke up within minutes of one another today and have been chatting over coffee for a good while so far; I've got my hair up in a ponytail due to the high winds anticipated today and left the door to the laundry room open so I can hear the dryer tumble.

Here is a link to today's Proverb (NIV translation again today).

On Monday, I'm making a cold-call to who I hope will become a trusted colleague and ally, a man who's been running his own homeless shelter since the mid 90's, not ironically the time that I spent in the ministry, being prepared for what is now finally at hand. Everything in my life has lead up to this point: my own periods of homelessness, which nothing could replace that first-hand experience that remains perpetually immeasurable in value. And, naysayers be damned, several AI programs are helping me really get this initiative nailed down, in step by logical step fashion. It's awesome, and, of course, now I know by way of a very bad experience that vetting the information provided by AI is required in order to ferret out that of value and shirk the rest. I am, at least, the kind of person who tries to learn from experience.

Now, about "the thing" I did which I alluded to in a previous post, now I'll go ahead and tell you: when Fragrantica's owner is home from his current travels, he will, himself, be deleting my nearly-fifteen year old account there. The staff that I've told there have all said they're sad to see me go, and frankly so am I, but I have to empty my hands of this in order to pick up that which has been divinely placed before me. Volunteering isn't something that I'll be doing part time, but is and will even moreso become the very substance of every day life, every moment, of every.single.day.

Here's a screenshot of the message that I sent detailing my request; I'll save the warm responses for my own personal reference.

100% of every single reason for my decision is lain out in that message, posted there above this line and there is nothing more or less to it than that. Retrospectively, of course, I can see where in several places I was harpooned by using the mousepad on this laptop; some of the relevant text was selected and deleted without my seeing it because I typed right on through it happening and didn't see that it did until after the fact. No matter, the gist of the content made it through, and that's what matters.

Now, since I have several days remaining before he's able to delete the account, I asked my spousal authority (my husband) if he thinks it'd be okay for me to just proceed as normal for these days; his advice is 'no, commit to it and do it now' so, starting today, that is what I'm doing, though I did log on to select my scent of the day today... and that's all. 

Here's my YouTube short about "doing it afraid" which I'm surprised to see has over 700 views (which, in the podcast world is nothing but, to my little regular-self, is significant). 

Do It Afraid!

I have to post it there as an embedded link... because I still haven't submitted a support request to blogger.com 😂

So! It's back to grant-writing I go, both for my 501(c)(3) - thank God that I've already got our EIN! - as well as a couple of other local charities.

It's far beyond time that I left the echo-chamber of self-aggrandizement for the true treasure of a life lived in service to the least of these (per Jesus' words in Matthew 25). 

The instant I made the decision, the Lord gave me this Scripture to back it up and confirm that yes, this is the right thing to do and yes, now IS the time:

There's nothing wrong with part-time volunteer work, and I encourage everyone to weave that into their lives when and wherever possible. But, in my case, He is demanding that it become my entire, waking, breathing life. So, it's truly no wonder that it's taken more than fifty years to prepare me for this holy assignment! 

And, know this: I intend to be boots on the ground, interfacing with the clients - washing their feet myself, rather than delegating the sacred tasks of service. I never want to become one of those "charity" CEO's raking in millions, sequestered away from those they claim to serve in expensive, fancy offices. No, I want to unlock the closet so the residents can shop, I want to let them pick out toiletries, I want to cook and then hand them food, I want to make their beds, wash their clothing, pray for them, and sometimes even literally wash their feet. 
What a deep and profound honor it will be and, folks? 
I can't wait! 

❤

A Beautiful Day in April, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure little blip in the virtual ocean! I first woke up at about three a.m. this morning as usual, but was able to go back to sleep for more than another three hours; when I woke up, it was near sunrise, but it's cloudy today, at least it is so far this morning, so I didn't miss anything (meaning, those three approximate minutes when Heaven leaks down to earth and bathes the world and sky in colors and light so beautiful as to take one's breath away). 

Addiction, it's a real thing; at least, for many of us it is. And we (that is, humans/ people) are the kind of folk who'll hold AA meetings inside of a bar. I don't say that to be mean, just "look at us"(all!) right? Friend, I'm in that boat, too. There are plenty of realities that I'm blind too, mistake, or just plain ignore; I, too, am human. Please know that when I start to sound real preachy (as I write, here) it's only because I am preaching these things first and foremost to myself, and, if anyone else finds value in anything shared, that's wonderful! If not, well, maybe at least you can get a good laugh. It's important that you know, though, dear Reader, where my heart is in all of this.

My oldest son, estranged with good reason because I was an awful, terrible mother (just keeping it real, you can ask both of the boys, and they'll tell you) anyway, he's managed to make it so far in life, in spite of me and the other imperfect conditions of his childhood. His birthday is in two days and, though I don't deserve a relationship with him, love him today and will with every remaining breath. In fact, I've tried to make a deal with God, and asked Him to please see to it that both of my sons get to know Him and Him crucified, even if that means that I never see or hear from either one of them again. That's because God is everything, and if I get to choose between having them in my own life and them having God in theirs, well, the choice is crystal clear and there IS no room for debate. So, may he have a wonderful birthday coming up in a couple of days; may he be doing well, I pray for it every day. 

We can't undo the past, y'all. It's impossible. But! We *can* learn from our mistakes and do better going forward. That's the best that any of us can really do, so don't look back in despair; look back in honesty and reflection, yes, but try to learn whatever lesson there is to be had in your past mistakes and move forward, in gratitude and humility, and try to apply what you've learned to life going forward. If you're doing that, or trying to, I personally can see zero fault in you, none at all, because that means that your heart is in the right place. Anyway, who am I to judge? No one. 

Now, we are supposed to have discernment - that is "be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" - but part of discernment is being able to separate the sin from the sinner. Yes, condemn all acts of evil; concurrently, love the person doing those acts and pray for them; walk in love as best you can; it's what I'm trying to do and fail at constantly, but I will never stop trying, because "a righteous man falls and will arise seven times, but the wicked are brought down by calamity" (that's somewhere in Proverbs, paraphrased). This is wonderful news for you and for me, because that means that failure is ONLY fatal if we fail to keep trying again, no matter how many times it takes or how long that turns out to be.

Try again. Try harder.

This is a first/rough draft, thoughts typed out as I think them, so, please forgive the 'rough-cut' in the way that I write, and thank you for that.

Here is a link to today's Proverb, this time in the NIV version.