A Beautiful Day in April, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure little blip in the virtual ocean! I first woke up at about three a.m. this morning as usual, but was able to go back to sleep for more than another three hours; when I woke up, it was near sunrise, but it's cloudy today, at least it is so far this morning, so I didn't miss anything (meaning, those three approximate minutes when Heaven leaks down to earth and bathes the world and sky in colors and light so beautiful as to take one's breath away). 

Addiction, it's a real thing; at least, for many of us it is. And we (that is, humans/ people) are the kind of folk who'll hold AA meetings inside of a bar. I don't say that to be mean, just "look at us"(all!) right? Friend, I'm in that boat, too. There are plenty of realities that I'm blind too, mistake, or just plain ignore; I, too, am human. Please know that when I start to sound real preachy (as I write, here) it's only because I am preaching these things first and foremost to myself, and, if anyone else finds value in anything shared, that's wonderful! If not, well, maybe at least you can get a good laugh. It's important that you know, though, dear Reader, where my heart is in all of this.

My oldest son, estranged with good reason because I was an awful, terrible mother (just keeping it real, you can ask both of the boys, and they'll tell you) anyway, he's managed to make it so far in life, in spite of me and the other imperfect conditions of his childhood. His birthday is in two days and, though I don't deserve a relationship with him, love him today and will with every remaining breath. In fact, I've tried to make a deal with God, and asked Him to please see to it that both of my sons get to know Him and Him crucified, even if that means that I never see or hear from either one of them again. That's because God is everything, and if I get to choose between having them in my own life and them having God in theirs, well, the choice is crystal clear and there IS no room for debate. So, may he have a wonderful birthday coming up in a couple of days; may he be doing well, I pray for it every day. 

We can't undo the past, y'all. It's impossible. But! We *can* learn from our mistakes and do better going forward. That's the best that any of us can really do, so don't look back in despair; look back in honesty and reflection, yes, but try to learn whatever lesson there is to be had in your past mistakes and move forward, in gratitude and humility, and try to apply what you've learned to life going forward. If you're doing that, or trying to, I personally can see zero fault in you, none at all, because that means that your heart is in the right place. Anyway, who am I to judge? No one. 

Now, we are supposed to have discernment - that is "be wise as serpents and innocent as doves" - but part of discernment is being able to separate the sin from the sinner. Yes, condemn all acts of evil; concurrently, love the person doing those acts and pray for them; walk in love as best you can; it's what I'm trying to do and fail at constantly, but I will never stop trying, because "a righteous man falls and will arise seven times, but the wicked are brought down by calamity" (that's somewhere in Proverbs, paraphrased). This is wonderful news for you and for me, because that means that failure is ONLY fatal if we fail to keep trying again, no matter how many times it takes or how long that turns out to be.

Try again. Try harder.

This is a first/rough draft, thoughts typed out as I think them, so, please forgive the 'rough-cut' in the way that I write, and thank you for that.

Here is a link to today's Proverb, this time in the NIV version.

I Made a Choice and did the Thing on April 9th, 2026

Greetings and salutations, dear Reader, on a mild April evening, where I sit and type thoughts, my own which are safe to discuss. 

I may not disclose what "the thing" is exactly, not just yet. But it was huge. Huge and, I feel will turn out to be, pivotal as well. This is the game changer; this is where the rest of this earthly life takes off, in a whole 'nother direction! I'm concurrently at peace while tempted to allow Fear some room as well, but there is none. All courage really is is "doing it afraid" anyway. 

Give Me Your Eyes

💖

Banned in the USA on April 6th, 2026

Good morning, et cetera, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure little blip in cyberspace. Welcome back if you've been here before; it's super early here in the MST, not yet four a.m. as I sit to start this chain of thoughts, drinking coffee. God is good (all the time!)

(insert "Lord, You Are Good" by Israel Houghton video here)😂
yeah, my blogger on this laptop still doesn't work right. 

Normally I read the day's Proverb, but for a few days early in the month including today, those Proverbs are all about infidelity/ sexual immorality. And, yes, that wisdom is good to learn and rehash! Only, I learned that lesson first hand in my twenties; in the intervening years, that kind of behavior has become truly morally repugnant to me so, in that one regard, I feel like I'm good, you know? 
The first 22 verses of today's Proverb are very good, full of more general wisdom, so there you have it. 

Well, praise God, I got banned on the perfume website again - get this, for posting religious content (on Easter aka Resurrection Sunday) and I bought some clothing, these things:

and

Um... they're clothes; I'm American. Tell me which political party this allegedly supports, because, to my mind, "America" means ALL Americans, irrespective of political affiliation, but, hey, that's just me. It's the nation's 250th anniversary this year, so I bought a shirt in commemoration, and a hat that I'll share with my husband (but look forward to throwing it on over a ponytail myself, too). 

And, of course I can't post it here due to the technical issues I'm having here (Yes, I should submit a support request, but I digress) there was also the YouTube video of a man reading the entire US Constitution aloud that I shared; again, our founding documents are relative to ALL Americans, not just Democrats, not just Republicans or Independents - but ALL Americans; it's historically relevant and educational. Again, political how exactly? Sheesh, y'all, the snowflakes are running this world into the ground. These are the same people who want to charge you with hate crimes for using the wrong pronouns, but celebrate murdering the unborn by ripping them limb from limb in the womb.

Please, guys, somebody make it make sense?

I didn't even get mildly irritated, let alone mad or worse when I read the admin's message about it, but brought up those observations that I just detailed here; I'm interested to see what, if any, the response will be? It's their call though; it's all good. 

I wore a favorite, pretty white dress yesterday, so today, I'm in a favorite old, oversized shirt (pale mint green with a lovely white dove decoration on the front) with some ankle-length, black cotton-blend leggings, barefoot but I'll grab my plain black leather ballet flats to leave the house, much, much later, once we've got daylight. It's all about a ponytail today, too, but I've dressed this very casual look up by wearing this new set that my husband gave me this past Valentine's Day:

Don't you just love the silent morning hours, before the rest of the surrounding world wakes up? This is the best part of the day, when I can truly not only hear myself think but, more importantly, it gives room for the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit to speak His mind to me, which I'm always in need of and greedy to hear every day, yes, even correction and rebuke! Hey, let's be real, I always have it coming (human = imperfect). But it's just like His Word says, that He corrects the child that He loves, as we do our own children. I'd rather hear His correction and rebuke rather than not hear from Him at all, that would be the worst fate in the Universe.
Damn but that's a scary thought! So yes, dear Lord, please never, ever stop correcting me and thank You! (in Jesus' Name, amen).

Now, to be funny, I'd normally post the video "Banned in the USA" by 2 Live Crew from way back in the day right here, but the technical issues I'm having... yes, yes, yes, I'll submit a support request soon! Jeez.
 
Fortunately I can get all political and religious here, though; if it offends you, feel free to leave if you like, that's all you. I'm good with it either way, really. If you happen to find some value in anything that I choose to share, that's great, and I hope that you do! It's not about ME anyway; it's literally all about the message, like in John 3:30 where John says "I must decrease that He may increase" - it's literally exactly that. My identity is in Him; the more of 'me' that melts into Him, the better! I apologize that I can't articulate that concept in a way that any unbeliever would be able to comprehend, but that's part of the nature of (real, genuine) faith and the mysteries of God; the great, wonderful news is that He can make it make sense and often does, if we diligently seek after the rewards of wisdom and understanding. "Seek" is indicative of far, far more than a casual, passing interest. Ladies, imagine you've lost a diamond earring; you know the way you'll grab a flashlight and move every piece of furniture in the house to try and find that lost earring? That, dear friend, is what it means to "seek" - it's the kind of attitude that He wants us to develop toward Him and His Word, the things of God in general. "Seek" - it's not a casual word, was put there on purpose, and it means what it means. If you're just sending up a wishlist to God and becoming an atheist when He doesn't meet your demands and those on your time table, you're doing it wrong, man. Try again. Try harder. 

Look at the AI breakdown of the verse that speaks to this very thing, from the book of Isaiah:

I legit hope that this will give you hope in God, knowing that you merely have to pursue Him passionately, trusting Him with your heart (the part of you that transcends and is far, far deeper than mere intellect). 

Anyway, I'll go make more coffee now. Sorry that I can't post videos here, but I'm sure you've all got your own YouTube or whatever thing going on. 

Thanks for stopping by and please have a great day as you seek the Lord and His will for you. He loves you so, so very much!💖

March 26th, 2026: A Brand New Day

 Good morning, et cetera, depending on where you find yourself at this moment, dear Reader, and welcome to yet another undeserved, unpromised day on this side of the Grave. We are so very fortunate, aren't we? 

On this laptop, I'm very grateful to be able to type again, rather than hamfisting error after typing error at a snail's pace on the tiny phone 'keyboard', which is a great thing. On the other hand, there are some limited functions, particularly here in blogger.com, making it impossible to easily insert videos, so, if you'd like to at least read today's Proverb, click HERE. (I've chosen the Amplified translation for today). 

An AI "me into an android" Grok creation based on the photo I provided:

And, since dropping videos in posts here is currently not easily done, I'll just share with you that the first piece of music that came to mind today is Sting's "Brand New Day" and, though not Scriptural, did remind me of His promise to us from the OT book of Lamentations:

(the third chapter).

IDK about you, but even though I listen to the day's Proverb, a small serving from the Book of Wisdom, I've yet to be completely cured of idiocy. C'est la Vie! This is why we keep getting up and trying again, no? 
Time for some more coffee. 

We really like Mark Manson (YouTube). Don't know what his politics are, don't care: he's intelligent, funny, crass enough to be down to earth without overdoing it into downright vulgar territory and (my favorite part!) he tells the truth. Yes, even when it sucks; yes, even when the softest blow still lands like a ton of bricks. It's awesome. He's got this one recent video where he talks about the mental gymnastics that he used on himself to quit smoking cigarettes back in 2008; I've seen it twice so far (which, for those who know me, understand that this means that I'm just barely getting started).

 
Anyway, this is a pic of what you're looking for, in case you wish to watch it yourself:

That's all I've got at the moment with regard to what I feel like sharing. Thanks for stopping by and see you next time. 💗

Feelings and other inconveniences

Greetings and salutations, dear Reader, and welcome to this obscure sliver of cyberspace where, at least at this moment, free speech still reigns supreme.

I've been in therapy now since late last year, and I think that it's starting to work? Reason being, I am in the most irksome position of feeling feelings, in fact, my own.

Here's a thought that could have been better nuanced:

So, the concept was typed as I thought and felt it; to deliver the very same truth in a mor palatable way, how about:

Dear Parents, 

Please keep every promise made to your child, especially something as free and easy as tuckthe child in bed at night. If you don't, that child may mistake the oversight as your way of saying that the child is of no importance to you. 

I recognize that the second version isn't perfect either, but at least it's not as wounded or brutally raw.

 All progress counts.

The real reason that I'm in therapy is so that I can face and work through past traumas, rather than allowing those to dictate broken forms of relating to others. To not do so would be cowardly at best, if not downright criminal.

Fear doesn't get to call the shots in my life. And, as a very wise person once said, "The only thing we have to fear is Fear itself".

Dear Doctors.

Yes, you have your college degrees, following years of difficult, intensive training. You very well may and in fact, probably do, have years of experience of having correctly treated people, mostly with success. These are all valid, good things.

What you do NOT have is even one second of experience of being inside any other human being's body.

The single most valid and authoritative source of patient information that you will ever have free access to will not, does not, and 100% cannot come from any other source other than what you have the intellectual integrity and humility to seek out from the very source of that information: the patient.

You are incapable of assuming any human being's lived, experienced reality in any other way, no matter how truly competent you otherwise are.The single, most relevant and critically important information about your patient's condition IS AND MUST ALWAYS BE THE PATIENT HIM OR HERSELF 

Not from your training. Not from your external experiences, and sure as Hell not from your ego.

Therefore, when I truthfully inform you that it requires 60 mg of oral Prednisone to begin to even touch my exacerbated COPD, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME - THE ONE WHO LIVES IN THE BODY - and dose correctly.

I live in my body and you DO NOT. Do NOT IGNORE our feedback in the conceited dismissal of presuming that the only person WHO LIVES IN THE BODY BEING TREATED is too stupid to convey the factual reality of that which works, the experience of the doses that are effective as opposed to your "but I KNOW BETTER" dismissive arrogance which delves into "Playing God" territory, beyond any room for denial of this fact.

We are not objects.We are not guinea pigs. And, some of us are NOT as stupid as you assume prima facie, by the blind arrogance you failed to remain aware of simply because "I'm a DOCTOR". Although you should trust in your knowledge and experience, it is not absolute.

With regard to your cluelessness of living even one split second in any body other than your own, which no human being on Earth can ever experience, you hinder uour ability to truly provide thoroughly effective care if you forget that the patient's input IS the most relevant of all.

I MATTER.

PATIENTS MATTER.

PATIENT FEEDBACK IS EXPONENTIALLY MORE VALID AND CRITICAL THAN ANY AND ALL BOOK LEARNING COMBINED.

With regard to accessing the factually lived experience of being IN THE BODY, YOU have read about and studied  the ocean; BUT I AM OUT THERE SWIMMING IN ITS CENTER!!!

And, by the way, where do you think most of the information you studied in your myriad med school textbooks came from? 

PATIENTS!!!

Foolishness on Friday, November 21st, 2025

Good morning, et cetera -greetings and salutations, dear Reader, and welcome to yet another day of drawing breath in and out. I pray that you are warm, well-fed, and at peace as you read these words and, if not, that those things come to you soon. So often the things we take for granted are the very things that many across the globe are praying for right now, so it's important to always be aware, and once aware, grateful. 

Please click here if you'd like to read today's Proverb, and click here if you'd like to read 1 Corinthians 1. I recognize myself in the following verse from that last chapter mentioned:

I always come to share the ponderings of my heart and mind, dear Reader, not because I feel that anyone can be 'convinced' or otherwise compelled to believe, because that's not how faith works- it's an inside job, 100%, full-stop, wholly between an individual and the Lord God and cannot be manufactured, faked, demanded or anything other than what it is. Yes, I refer to the Lord and His Word often, but that's because "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" and, Lord knows (quite literally, as do many of you) that *not* everything that comes out of this mouth is good or Godly.

That said, I'd like to talk about the first verse-image there and point out some observations. 

There are many things that happen in life that cause us to often question God and demand to know the "why" behind it all and I'll give you some examples:
*God, why do babies die of cancer?
*God, why is there evil in the world?
*God, why is it a struggle to eat and pay my bills every month?
and on and on and on, the questions that arise from the baffling situations in life, many of which seem unfair if not downright evil, will continue to plague us, or at least make themselves apparent to us, until we breathe our very last.

So, I'll ask another "why" and that is this:
Why does God allow all of these things to happen? 

I don't know why, that's His business. But, please allow me to frame it for you based on what I now understand of these things. The verse above tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." and that right there is the first little treasure/clue in that trust is a matter of the heart. We must dig deeper within ourselves to reach beyond the confines of mere intellect and choose to trust Him on a much deeper level than that of thought, logic, and reason. It IS a choice. It's like Job said of his own unwavering trust in God:

There is a level of trust that runs so deep that, to the normal mind of man, to the intelligent, educated, to the wise and well-learned, makes literally no sense at all. Seriously, WHO trusts one who would slay him? But there you have it, straight from the Book itself.

Further, I feel that the laying down of our human intellect is an example of what it means to cast our crowns at His feet in worship; it's that taking of the cherished, prized things in life (be they material or otherwise) and throwing them down as worthless in comparison of Who He is and all that He's done (to wit, paying the ultimate price to redeem our sorry asses, knowing that we do not and never can or will actually deserve it OR even begin to pay Him back for it). 

So, I take this to mean: do I prize my thoughts over Him and His sacrifice? Are my material things more important to me than His love? Is my intellect my God or am I willing to accept that there are simply things in this Life that I cannot and will not ever understand, but love Him still?

I am the one holding the hammer and nail - He is the One holding me! 

His love for us is so rich, so extravagant, so complete and whole that no mind of flesh can ever grasp the true gist of what He's actually done. We can receive it, yes, but trying to understand it in our minds is a fool's errand. His Holy Spirit can give us a heart-level understanding, yes, but there is no reaching God through the intellect of man. 

Today, dear Reader, I pray that the eyes of your understanding will be opened; I plead the Blood of Jesus over every human being who sees or reads these words, in Jesus' Name. May His will and His foolish love reign over all that man normally worships instead.

💜